Jesus Is Helping Me

One of my favorite people was Richard Dortch. I first met him while he was the District Superintendent of the Illinois District. Later, he became the vice president of the PTL Television Network. He was responsible for inviting Kathy's family, ourselves included, to join the PTL staff. I worked with Pastor Dortch at the PTL church, Heritage Village Church. He asked me to recruit and develop a choir for the church services. We eventually had a 100+ voice choir that sang for the church services, television broadcasts of the services and seasonal productions. Pastor Dortch had a high stress job as the VP, however, he always was upbeat and had time for everyone that needed to see him. When you asked him how he was doing, he would always say, "Jesus is helping me." I love that phrase and have used it many times.

One of my favorite Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir songs is My Help (Cometh From the Lord).
I will lift up mine eyes to the hills from whence cometh my help,
my help cometh from the Lord, the Lord which made Heaven and Earth.

He said He would not suffer thy foot, thy foot to be moved;
the Lord which keepeth thee, He will not slumber nor sleep.

Oh the Lord is thy keeper, the Lord is thy shade
upon thy right hand, upon thy right hand.

No, the sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night,
He shall preserve thy soul even forever more.

My help, my help, my help, all of my help cometh from the Lord.


These words are straight from Psalm 121. Here are the last two verses:

7 The Lord will keep you from all harm — he will watch over your life; 8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Regardless of what comes, regardless of what you are facing, the modern day synopsis of Psalm 121 is Jesus Is Helping Me. The next time someone asks you how you are doing, tell them... Jesus is helping me.

If You Are Desperate Today

In the lobby of the Assemblies of God headquarters in Springfield, Missouri, there are four wonderful paintings that display the four defining truths of the Assemblies of God. They are: Salvation, Baptism in the Holy Spirit, Healing, and Second Coming. Ron DiCianni is the artist. You can see the four paintings here, AG paintings.

I love this story because it illustrates how much Christ cares for each of us individually. Matthew, Mark, and Luke each tell this story. Basically, this woman has had a female, hemorrhaging disease for twelve years. She had spent a fortune, actually all she had, and had gotten worse instead of better. Jesus is being followed by a large crowd. He is on his way to heal the daughter of Jairus, a synagogue ruler. This anonymous lady, pushes through the crowd to get close to Jesus. She knows in her heart that if she can just touch His clothes, "I will be healed.". I love how DiCianni portrays her on her hands and knees. She is in the position of surrender, defeat and desperation. The only thing missing from the painting is the huge crowd. As soon as the woman touches the hem of Christ's garment, she is instantly healed. Jesus sensed power leaving Him and asked, "who touched my clothes?" The disciples can't believe He is asking this question because the crowd is pressing Him, jostling Him, this is really a crowd scene. Jesus looks around and finally finds the woman. She falls at His feet and tells Him her story. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Today you may not need physical healing, but you might need emotion healing. Perhaps you have been caught in the present economic downturn and are desperate for God's provision. Maybe there is a relationship in your family that needs healing, or perhaps you need freedom from fear, bitterness, or anger. You may need deliverance from an addiction. Let this woman be your example, do whatever you need to do to get to Jesus, including crawling on your hands and knees. Touch Him with your prayer, your cries of desperation. He will turn and find you and say "your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." He will find you, despite the size of the crowd.

All Things Work For Good

Here is a small portion of Max Lucado's book God's Story Your Story.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 

We know…There are so many things we do not know. We do not know if the economy will dip or if our team will win. We do not know what our spouse is thinking or how our kids will turn out. We don’t even know “what we ought to pray” (Rom. 8:26). But according to Paul, we can be absolutely certain about four things. We know…

1. God works. He is busy behind the scenes, above the fray, within the fury. He hasn’t checked out or moved on. He is ceaseless and tireless. He never stops working.

2. God works for the good. Not for our comfort or pleasure or entertainment, but for our ultimate good. Since he is the ultimate good, would we expect anything less?

3. God works for the good of those who love him. Behold the benefit of loving God! Make his story your story, and your story takes on a happy ending. Guaranteed. Being the author of our salvation, he writes a salvation theme into our biography.

4. God works in all things. Panta, in Greek. Like “panoramic” or “panacea” or “pandemic.”All-inclusive. God works, not through a few things or through the good things, best things, or easy things. But in “all things” God works. Puppet in the hands of fortune or fate? Not you. You are in the hands of a living, loving God. Random collection of disconnected short stories? Far from it. Your life is a crafted narrative written by a good God, who is working toward your supreme good.

Kathy had the idea of starting a "Blessing Jar", a place to write and save all of God's blessings as we continue our journey of faith. Yesterday I paid all of our remaining October bills, and had enough money to do that. November will be another story, but I have a real good feeling that God will take of November. One interesting thing is happening with our house. It's been for sale since July. August and September were disasters...5 showings in two months. In the last week and a half, it's been shown 4 times and today we have to leave so it can be shown again. I know that God's timing is His own. He rarely shares it with us. What does this increased activity mean? We'll find out. Perhaps it will be one of the more dynamic "blessings" that we put in our Blessing Jar.

Do-Overs

At times, we all do self evaluations, particularly about the major events in our lives. Sometimes we are tempted to spend time wondering what we would do if we could go back and re-live past events and do them over. Over the past 19 weeks, with a lot of extra time on my hands, I've thought about major events, both good and not so good.

Last week as I was wrestling with our budget, now that my severance pay has ended, I though about the 3 children that have adopted. As I was having a mini pity party, thinking about raising a second set of kids and all the expenses related to that, I thought about the fact that if we had not adopted our kids, we would have had several years as empty nesters. We could have doubled our retirement account and not be as limited as we look for a new ministry position without having to think about 3 teenagers and their needs. As I was thinking about this, I was reminded of a church service we had when Nicole was about 18 months old. The founders of the Royal Family Kids' Camps were our guests and Wayne Tesch was telling the story of one of the foster children that had attended one of the camps. As he described the horrible living situation this little girl lived in, and all of us were feeling so sad for this situation, the Holy Spirit whispered to me, "you rescued Nicole from a fate worse than this."  This little 18 month old had already taught me so much about adoption and fatherhood, and this was a great confirmation that we had done the right thing.

In a recent blog, Ronnie Floyd said, Adoption is one of the clearest pictures of the gospel we could ever see. In fact, the doctrine of adoption is the heart of the gospel. We were hopeless and lost, but Jesus brought us into God's family. Our adoption story started in 1980 as foster parents. We fostered children for 20 years. Nicole was our first child that had no where to go. None of her relatives could pass a home study and her birth problems were severe enough to scare away potential adoptive parents. Since she had been our foster daughter for over a year when it was determined her family could not adopt her, we decided to. That was 18 years ago. Nicole is now 19 and a wonderful young lady. Later we brought Sam, 17, and Shawn, 16, into our family.Even though we didn't attach a lot of spiritual emphasis to our decision, James said in his New Testament book, Religion that is pure and undefiled, before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction. Even though raising our adoptive children has been more challenging that our birth children, and there may be more challenges in the future, we wouldn't change a thing.

As I finished what I was doing with our budget, I thought about how blessed we are to have been adoptive parents. God will take care of us all, because He loves these children even more than we do. Do-over? Never. Blessed and contented? Yes.

Technology and Keeping In Touch

New technology is wonderful. Watching the rapid improvements in televisions, audio equipment, computers and especially phones, is almost awe inspiring. It seems like using your phone to make calls is a minor usage of it. Instead, we browse the web, text, play interactive games, keep our calendar and a multitude of other tasks. If you can download apps, you have an almost unlimited range of things you can do with your phone. This is the upside. The downside is that personal communication is taking a backseat to the use of technology. Send an email instead of making a phone call. Text instead of hand writing a note. Write on someone's Facebook wall instead of paying a visit...

Yesterday, I experienced the use of technology and received encouragement and inspiring conversation from our son and a good friend. Josh called from Hungary and it sounded like he was right next door. He was calling to get an update on my job process. I love to talk with Josh, he is always encouraging and really cares about his mom and dad. Josh called on a European plan cell phone. The other call I got was from Figi. My good friend Rob Leacock called to see how we were doing. His wife, Lori, had read my "job update blog" and Rob was checking on us. Again, that was a very encouraging call and I enjoyed talking with Rob for a few minutes. That call came from the internet. It is amazing to me that for a country so far away, again, it sounded like Rob was very close. The only glitch was when Lori logged on her computer and the band width didn't support both the call and her web browsing. She logged off and Rob was crystal clear again.

Earlier today Kathy and I sat in Starbucks with Claudia Alexander for a couple of hours and worked on a project. That was a great time for Kathy and I, very inspiring. Just before we sat down, our son, Jason, called me to check on us. I love talking with Jason. Our older sons constantly bless us. Tonight I played the piano for a recording session. Dear friends, Craig and Cindy Young, were singing the vocals. We had a wonderful time doing the recording and then talking after the session. Again, an encouraging and uplifting conversation.

Sometimes technology doesn't do it. Sometimes we need the personal touch of a person we can sit with and talk, or talk person to person on the phone, even if it's from a foreign country. I need to remember that for myself. There are some people that need to hear my voice, or read a handwritten card from me. How about you? Is there someone you need to touch personally? I think I'll buy some note cards and envelopes tomorrow.

Looking For A Job In the Summer of 2011 - Another Update

My last job hunt update blog was posted on August 24th. At that time, I had already discovered some interesting things about matching my skills and abilities to specific church ministry jobs. Since then, here's a couple of things that have been confirmed. 1) While churches are hiring Worship Leaders/Ministers of Music, they generally want that person to have at least 3 years of experience and their age to be somewhere in the middle of the age range of the church. That means, in most cases, someone in their 30s or 40s. While I have been a Minister of Music for 31 years, with very wide and diverse experience, my age puts me outside the preferred range. 2) My other skill set is in Church Business Administration. I have found that I am competing with many former financial institution employees who are CPAs or MBAs and will work for reduced church wages until the financial situation in the USA improves. For instance, I made the short list at an Episcopal church in Austin, TX for the position of Church Business Manager. The position was filled by an out-of-work CPA in Austin for a substantial reduction in pay. This worked great for the church, they paid their budgeted salary and got a very qualified employee, and did not have to pay for relocation expenses. This is a fairly typical scenario.

Today marks the 18th week of my job search. The severance package from my former church ends this week. Since most churches exempt themselves from paying into their state unemployment fund, church employees who are laid off or terminated cannot get unemployment benefits. In other words, our income completely stops after today, with no unemployment benefits eligibility. I am taking advantage of our state COBRA insurance program to continue our health insurance, but after October, we will pay the entire family premium. With 3 teenagers at home and Kathy and I both having some medical needs, health insurance is a necessity. A recent statistic I saw was that people in my age group take an average of 33 weeks to find a new job. With churches, once the holidays arrive, rarely are new employees hired until after the New Year. That means unless I can find a job before the third week of November, the holiday weeks will probably be lost to effective job hunting.

So, where are we? First, extremely grateful for the tremendous support of our family and friends. Thank you for all the meals and encouraging conversation, phone calls, cards, emails, etc. Just yesterday, some dear friends took us to breakfast and then to Sam's to "stock up". This is just one example of God truly blessing us through our friends. Second, in my wildest imaginations, I would have never thought that I would be in this situation at this stage in my life. To be let go from a church where I had served for almost 9 years, and in the words of the pastor "done a great job for our church", and in the worst economic period since the Great Depression, is almost unthinkable. However, God was not surprised. Now that our safety net is gone, this is where the real trust in God will come into play. I have always taught and believed that God is our Source. He uses our jobs to provide income, but He is the Source. The Salazars will find that out in the next weeks, and possibly months. Our relatives and friends tell us constantly that they are praying for us, and many of them have sent scriptures and words of encouragement. Please keep those prayers going heavenward and the encouragement coming to us. While we may go through some deep water, I know we'll have a victorious story to tell when we reach the shore. If you read this long post and have reached the end, thanks for your interest, support and prayers. Blessings...

The Creator Is Still Creating

Last Christmas Kathy gave me the BBC video series Planet Earth and Blue Planet. These two multi DVD series are incredible looks at the wonderful planet we live on. As I watched each DVD, I was awed over and over again at God's creation. I was amused every time the narrator said something like "we're not sure exactly how this came to be, but it is amazing." I don't think the secular videographers meant to produce such great illustrations of God's creativity.

This morning I finished reading the book of Job. In chapter 38 God responds to Job and his friends. God asks, "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? NIV

As I read these words, I thought again about the BBC series. I can see God measuring, figuring, planning, building small models and carefully creating each piece, each animal, each plant fitting together perfectly. As the creating began all the angels shouted for joy. What a thrilling scene. Here's a couple more thoughts; astronomers tell us that the universe is continuing to expand. No one know why. I do - God is still creating. He is making room for all the new stars and planets that are filling the space. One last thought. I read an article recently about a new species of shark turning up in a meat market. Scientists were amazed at this newly found species and they commented that there are probably thousands of plant, animal and insect species that haven't been discovered yet. I think God has a wonderful sense of humor. I can see Him continuing to create new species here on earth just to stay ahead of the scientists. I think He gets a real kick out of us finding something brand new and making a big deal out of it. I can see him leaning back and and laughing a huge cosmic belly laugh as His new creations are discovered. Just like creative artists continue to paint, sculpt, compose music, etc., I think our Creator is still creating. Creations that we will enjoy throughout eternity. Be careful when you squash that spider in your basement...it may be a brand new species...

He Gives More Grace

He gives more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sends more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He adds His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.


His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He gives, and gives, and gives again.


When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed when the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun. (emphasis mine)

These are remarkable lyrics, a complete sermon right from God's Word, in 12 simple lines. It is even more remarkable when you consider that the author, Annie Johnson Flint, was orphaned at 6 years old and spent thirty years bedridden with arthritis. Annie initially wrote poetry as gifts to friends, but her talent became widely known. Many of her poems were set to music and published in books like Out of Doors.

When you think you have reached the lowest point, and you have exhausted all of your hoarded resources, God is just beginning to help you. Isn't it amazing how when you think your story is the worst ever, you find out someone else has had it much more difficult than you could ever imagine? In spite of Annie Flint's very difficult physical life, she really understood how much God loved her and cared for her. He does the same for you. If you know Annie's song, sing it right now. If you don't know the melody, read the lyrics slowly and let God make them real to you today. He will...I know...I've already sung the song this morning.

The Irony of Being Unemployed on Labor Day

On this holiday Monday, I think I would rather be working. I don't think I've ever said that on a holiday, but obviously, this is a different time and circumstance.

As a Christian that is trying desperately to trust God and stand on His Word, the national and international news can be unsettling. No jobs added in August isn't exactly a confidence builder. And, I must admit, I'm not holding my breath waiting for our President's jobs speech on Thursday. To top it off, this morning my daily Bible-Through-the-Year reading began the book of Job. Speaking of confidence building... :)

One thing struck me this morning as I read the first reading. After each of Job's servants reported in to tell him of all the losses he had suffered, and they were incredible losses, this is what it says at the end of the first chapter, "At this, Job got up and tor his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.' In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing." (emphasis mine) I know I will never experience the depth and profound sorrow of Job's experience. However, my family and I may go through some deep water in the next few weeks and months. One thing I know, and God's Word through Job taught me again today, is that I must stay focused on God as our source, not the source of the calamity. Once Job dealt with the initial news and grief, (he tore his robe and shaved his head), he then fell to the ground in worship. I really want that to be my attitude.

So, if you see me in Walmart with a torn shirt and shaved head, don't panic. You will know that God and I are doing okay.  

Looking For A Job In the Summer of 2011 - Update

I started the process of looking for a new ministry job at the end of May. It is now near the end of August, 3 months later. Here is what I am finding out; there are a lot of people looking for work, there are a lot of people looking for ministry jobs, the average professional job seeker takes between 33 and 104 weeks to start working again. I spoke with a pastor in a medium sized church a couple of weeks ago. He is filling two pastoral positions. He told me he was overwhelmed by the number of resumes he had received. He said the last time he had to fill a position, pre-2008, he only got 5-6 resumes and since only 2 were qualified, it was easy to fill the position. While he didn't tell me how many resumes he had received for the position I was looking at, I could tell he was nearly paralyzed by the stacks of applications and resumes. One music position at a larger Iowa church generated 100 resumes. A Birmingham, AL church looking for a church administrator received over 70 resumes.  While we are all aware of the very difficult national economy, unemployment rate and housing market, it really hits home when you are trying to find a job and sell a house.

The good news is that God knows what is happening, His word is still true, and people are getting hired. I have several situations that I'm waiting on, and I'm optimistic that very soon I'll be "back in the saddle." A friend gave me a booklet written by a friend of his when he was unemployed. He wrote "God has already identified my next job, my assignment is to find it." I firmly believe that God has picked our our next ministry position and He will help us find it.

For our friends that have shared a meal with us, written cards, called and emailed, thanks so much for your support. Thanks for your prayers for us. Please keep holding us up in prayer. We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary — we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! Rom 5:3-5 the Message

Spirit of God, Descend Upon My Heart

I have been reading Near To the Heart of God, Meditations on 366 Best-Loved Hymns this year along with my daily Bible study. Today's hymn, Spirit of God, Descend Upon My Heart really jumped out at me.

It was written by George Croly, an Irishman who was asked in 1835 to reopen a church that had been closed for 100 years. It was in the heart of the London slums, but his powerful preaching attracted large crowds. He prepared a fresh hymnal for the church and he included this hymn he had written.

   Spirit of God, descend upon my heart; wean it from earth; through all its pulses move;
   Stoop to my weakness, mighty as Thou art; and make me love Thee as I ought to love.


   I ask no dream, no prophet ecstasies, no sudden rending of the veil of clay,
   No angel visitant, no opening skies; but take the dimness of my soul away.


   Teach me to feel that Thou art always nigh; teach me the struggles of the soul to bear.
   To check the rising doubt, the rebel sigh, teach me the patience of unanswered prayer.


   Teach me to love Thee as Thine angels love, one holy passion filling all my frame;
   The kindling of the heaven descended Dove, my heart an altar, and Thy love the flame.

Read each verse slowly, meditating on each one. This is a wonderful prayer of submission to the will of God.

Today Is Our Anniversary - Best Years of My Life

Today Kathy and I are celebrating 37 wonderful years of marriage. The big event on the weekend of our wedding 37 years ago was the resignation of President Richard Nixon on our rehearsal evening and then his leaving the White House with his family on the day of our wedding. There are a lot of highlights that are vivid memories, but there is also a lot of time in which I do not recollect much. This kind of reminds of the story of the two retired guys who are talking and one says to the other, "I couldn't help but notice that you call your wife 'sweety', 'baby doll', 'sugar', and other romantic names. How have you kept that much romance in your marriage all these years? The other guy turns to him and says, 'actually, I forgot her name about 10 years ago and I've been too embarrassed to ask her what it is."

Well, for us, it's not that bad. We have many wonderful memories that we recall. We've been so blessed. One of the biggest blessings has been our unified desire to serve God full time, anywhere, anytime. We've had some great adventures, and both of us have seen our experiences as adventures in helping to build God's kingdoms. We've had the blessing of raising six children, three birth children that are now grown and all involved in full time ministry, and three teenagers still at home that bring both great joy and present interesting challenges. We look back at some great ministry successes and people that we've had the pleasure of mentoring and guiding into successful ministry and other careers. Today we have an interesting predicament, looking for a job and trying to sell a house in an economic climate that is creating financial havoc in our nation. However, God is faithful, He will provide.

As I think about today, the greatest blessing for me is the love that Kathy and I share. I love her so much. She is my best friend and confidant. I love her laugh, and the way she brightens up a room. Of the two of us, she is the "people person" and I enjoy watching her be with people. I love the fact that after we've been with a group of people I get to go home with her. 37 years is a lot, particularly in our present society, but for us it is another signpost on a lifetime commitment that we agreed to 37 years ago. Now we're older, hopefully wiser, and ready for the next adventure, whatever or wherever it may be, together.

Our Universe Never Ceases To Amaze Me

Last week I watched a Discovery Channel documentary on the 400 years of the telescope. It was a very interesting progression from a simple spyglass with limited range to the current telescope technology that will replace the Hubbel telescope. The pictures of our galaxy and well out into our universe were amazing. The knowledge of how stars are born, the rapidly expanding universe and our relative size in our universe were just a few of the topics covered. I was amazed again at our Creator's work.

The documentary's narrator mentioned more than once how much we cannot see and speculated on how much more there was out beyond what our technology could reach. This reminded me of how big our Creator must be. Psalm 147:4 says He determines how many stars there are and calls them all by name. In Psalm 33:6 it says, He merely spoke, and the heavens were formed and all the galaxies of stars. In another place in scripture it says that He spreads the stars as a canopy over His throne. I can't even imagine how big God must be to be able to do this. Plus, the universe is expanding at a rapid rate. Does this mean He is still creating, and the universe is expanding to allow room for all His new creation?

I am thankful for one huge thing. In this documentary, they showed earth as a large planet and then began to pull away to show how vast just our galaxy is, and then continued to pull away beyond the Milky Way. Of course, Earth, had long disappeared from sight. So, I am thankful that the God who created this incredible universe, knows where I live on this tiny planet. He cares about me, loves me and knows exactly what I need. And in return, He allows me to know Him. Incredible...

These Layoffs Helped the Country

In 2nd Kings and 2nd Chronicles there is an account of the nation of Judah returning to Jehovah God. King Josiah directs that the temple should be repaired. In the process of starting the renovation, Hilkiah, the priest, finds the Book of the Law. While the Biblical account doesn't say that the priest reads some or all of the book, the implication is that they are so stunned by what is written there that they immediately take the Book of the Law to the king. In 2nd Kings 22, the book is read to king Josiah. He is so distressed by what he hears that the scripture says he tore his robes. Eventually the king has the book read to all the people.

In chapter 23 there is an account of the sweeping reforms that the king makes as he brings the people out of generations of idolatry and back to God. With my current mindset of looking for a job, as I read these passages, the idea of layoffs came to mind. First he did away with the pagan priests, he tore down the living quarters of the male shrine prostitutes (and put them out of business), and he put the women weavers out of business. (they weaved material for the idol Asherah) Josiah put the priests out of business that burned incense, fired the staff of the idol gates at the entrances to the cities and then he fired all the mediums and spiritists in the land. As I thought about this account, when you consider that this was nation wide, it meant that at the least many hundreds lost their jobs and actually it was probably thousands.

The end result of this massive layoff was a revival in Judah. Chapter 23 of 2 Kings has the account of the celebration of Passover in Jerusalem. Probably the first time in at least 200 years, and Passover had not been celebrated this way since the days of the prophet Samuel.

Our country is possibly on the brink of financial disaster, as is most of the world. A financial collapse in the U.S. would have wide reaching repercussions in the rest of the world financial markets. We truly need a return to Jehovah God in our country. In the midst of widespread fear and anxiety, we have an answer that we must find a way to communicate to a needy country. We must offer spiritual and Biblical answers to the present environment of uncertainty. Layoffs can be good...particularly when it drives us back to God.

Looking For A Job In the Summer of 2011

This is my first blog post since June 29th. Kathy and I have been very busy getting our home ready to sell. We finally finished all the big items a week ago and this is the first week our house has been listed with a realtor. Finally some breathing room. If you are interested in seeing pictures and all the details, go to www.realtor.com and do a search on 433 Melanie Meadows Lane, Ballwin, MO 63021.

I sent my first resume at the end of May. To date I have sent 49 resumes, mostly to churches and ministries looking for a Church Administrator. I have another church to send a resume to tomorrow, so it will be an even 50. Here are some things I have learned over the past two months.

1) It is going to be difficult to be a full time Minister of Music/Worship Pastor again. No one is looking for anyone that isn't 40 or younger. I friend of mine who helps churches find senior pastors and staff pastors was kind enough to tell me in a recent face-to-face conversation, "forget about music, concentrate on Church Administration. However, the right church and right situation are not out of the question. If God has picked a place for me to be a MofM, I'm ready.

2) There are a lot of former church pastors and support staff members looking for positions. 3 years ago a church would get 4-5 resumes and applications for open positions. I have talked with several pastors and staff members where I have submitted a resume to find that churches are receiving 15 or more resumes for smaller churches, (300 in attendance and under) and up to 100 resumes for larger churches.

3) It is taking church employees anywhere from 6 months to 2 years to get settled in a new position. Younger people are on the shorter side, older people are on the longer end. Unfortunately, I'm on the older end. (We're also trying to sell our house in the worst housing market since the 20s)

4) Salaries are lower than 3 years ago. While churches are filling positions for staff they really need, they are very conservative in salary and benefits spending.

I have had periods of real anxiety, bordering on panic. We have 3 teenagers at home and from our experience with our first set of teenagers, we are in the most expensive part of their lives. 3 teenage drivers is a killer for auto insurance, for instance. However, here are some positive things I have experienced;

I can't tell you how many times my devotional Bible reading for the day has had incredibly encouraging words right from Scripture. Our friends have been very encouraging, and we have had lunches and dinners with many of them. We have friends going to church with us, and all the cards and phone calls have been great. I believe that God has assured me that He knows exactly where we are at, what we need and there is a divine plan in place. We aren't too picky about where we live or what denomination we work in. Our only real desire is to know what we are doing before our high school students need to start school.

So what is the bottom line? Jeremiah 29:11-12 I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out — plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. (the Message)

If you think about it, breathe a prayer for us. I promise I'll blog more often and let you know what is happening. Okay, time to work on number 50.

Your House Never Looks Better Than When You're Trying to Sell It

Why is it that everything we ever wanted to do to our houses gets done when you are trying to sell it? For instance, I've had several yard projects that I wanted to do over the next couple of years. Guess what, they're getting done in the next few days. Today, Shawn, his friend Cruz and I loaded up a full trailer load of old wood, an old rabbit hutch, yard debris, old landscaping stuff, plus "treasures" from our basement and took it all to the dump. Our backyard and basement sure look good.

Both of our boys wanted dark paint in their rooms. Sam's is camouflage and Shawn's is Bronco orange and blue. Our realtor said we  should probably lighten the rooms, so today I painted one of the rooms with a High Hiding Primer-Ideal For Drastic Color Changes-Low Odor-Covers in One Coat-Dries in 30 Minutes. Well, at least it dried in 30 minutes. Tomorrow morning I'll roll all the spots that it didn't cover and tonight the window is open because the paint smell will knock you over.

Oh, by the way, we ordered new carpet for the basement. We would have never done that for ourselves, but, your house never looks better than when you're trying to sell it. Tomorrow I leave for the annual National Association of Church Business Administration conference. I know I'll enjoy it, and I particularly enjoy being with many other administrators that I know. But, I'll also be thinking about all the things I need to do when I get home. I would never get all this done if I was working. :)

Today I Will Make A Difference

In 1985, Max Lucado, one of my favorite authors, wrote a book titled On the Anvil. Here is a short excerpt from the chapter Today I Will Make A Difference.

Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines, and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.

I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink each minute as though it is my last. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.

Each day for me is a combination of getting our house ready to sell and checking in with my contacts and resources to find a job. I could spend time replaying all the scenarios that led up to my being dismissed, and mentally think of ways to correct misinformation, but God has given me a tremendous peace about our future. He will take care of every situation and He will bless Kathy and I for not looking backwards, but trusting Him forward. I will make a difference because each person I come in contact with will see a positive outlook and a loving and caring attitude. I have noticed that in the past two weeks, (I have not worked for two weeks), I am driving differently (more courteously), I have more time to help people, my blood pressure and pulse rate are down several points, I'm sleeping better and I have lost 10 pounds. I suppose I could be in a panic and want some kind of revenge for the predicament we're in, but I have chosen a much higher road. You can make a difference today. Let God help you, He will.

Some Thoughts On Jonah

One day this week my read-the-Bible-through-in-a-year reading was the book of Jonah. I've read this story many times, but this day I read Jonah's prayer in chapter 2 over and over. I stopped and meditated on his predicament. One thing that struck me was how calm this prayer seems. Now, I know that Jonah didn't write this book as the events unfolded, but nevertheless, he seems pretty calm. He begins by saying, "In my distress I called to the Lord," you think?! If it were me, it would read, "In my distress I pounded on the fish's insides with my fists, kicked as hard I could and yelled at God to save me at the top of my lungs." Later on Jonah writes, "When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord." Do you think Jonah lost consciousness while he was in the water? Can you imagine the terror he must have felt as he tried to tread water in the midst of a huge storm and big waves? I had an experience in Southern California while body surfing The Wedge, a well known, big wave area of Newport Beach. The waves were so big that day that it took everything in you to get out beyond the break to catch a wave. I remember the first, and only wave that day, because it ground me into the sand as it broke. It was so big that it held me on the bottom until I couldn't tell which way was up. By the time I was able to get out of the water, I really thought I wasn't going to make it. I can't imagine Jonah's experience.

One more interesting thought. Seaweed can really get you. Because I was raised on the West Coast, we went to the beach quite a bit. At times there was a lot of seaweed in the water and it would wrap itself around your arms or around your legs, and the moment it touched you, you knew that a shark had just chomped down on your arm or leg. The relief that it was just seaweed gave way to a moment of agitation as you threw the seaweed as far as you could away from you. Jonah says, "seaweed was wrapped around my head." Can you imagine poor Jonah, seaweed around his head, pounding on the insides of the fish, crying out to God.

Jonah's prayer ends with "What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord." So what is the application for us? Our vow is to live our lives according to God's Word. To love Him, worship Him and live so a watching world will know that we have a special relationship with Him. If you feel like Jonah today, vow to live like God wants you to. Then remember Jonah's words, "Salvation comes from the Lord." He will save you. His promises are true.

The Power Of the Lord

This morning, as I was reading my daily through-the-Bible-in-a-year pages, a story that I have read many times leaped out at me. It starts in 1 Kings 18:46. Elijah had just seen the power of God demonstrated on Mt. Carmel as a confrontation between the god Baal and the one true God, and it resulted in a powerful manifestation of God's power. After that, clouds begin to form and the multi-year drought comes to an end. The story continues: The power of the Lord came upon Elijah and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.

Here are some things to consider about this; remember that there are no paved roads and they were descending Mount Carmel so the road was winding and rocky. Second, it was customary for kings to have runners go before them. Third, Elijah was from Gilead (East of the Jordan River, South of the Jabbok River, North-east of the Dead Sea), where Bedouins lived. Bedouins were famous for their running ability, much like the Ethiopians are for producing world-class Marathon runners. The distance from Mount Carmel to Jezreel was about seventeen miles, about 9 miles short of a marathon. So the run was quite a feat no matter the pace or training!

So you are saying, "and....". Well the and is, the power of the Lord came upon Elijah, and regardless of his background and even perhaps his training, God helped him do a supernatural feat. Do you need for God to help you perform a supernatural feat? Have you ever had the power of God come upon you in a powerful way? I can tell you right now that I need for the power of God to come on me. I have several feats that need to be done in the next few days. We need to prepare our house and yard for sale, we need to begin processing all the things that need to happen when you relocate, and I need for God to present the exact right open door. What is your need? Take a moment right now and ask God for His power to come upon you to help you do something that you know you cannot do in your own power. When is happens, leave me a comment. Blessings...

Leaving the Church I've Served For Nine Years

I have served at the Minister of Music and Administrative Pastor at West County Assembly of God for the past nine years. This coming Sunday, June 5, will be our last Sunday at the church. I was hired in 2002 by the founding pastor of the church, John Wilson. He retired in 2007. As sometimes happens with the change in senior pastors, associate pastors who holdover from a previous administration are encouraged to find other places of ministry. After serving four years with our current pastor, my tenure has ended and I've started the adventure of finding a new place of ministry.

I will continue to write this blog. In fact, I will write several blogs in the near future about some of my experiences as a staff member at this church. For now, however, I wanted to tell you that if you go to the WCAG website to access my blog, you will need to subscribe to it. After Sunday, the link may not be in the place where you have found it in the past. Go to the bottom of this page and look for the "Subscribe To: Posts (Atom)". When you click on it, you will be taken to a page where you can subscribe to my blog. You will get an email notice when a new blog has been posted.

Thanks for all your comments on the various topics I write about. I have really enjoyed blogging about spiritual and Biblical topics, personal experiences and blogging about my family. I will blog frequently about our adventure as we trust God for a new ministry opportunity and trust Him for the sale of our house. While our economy is not producing many jobs, and the housing market is down, this gives us the opportunity to really watch God move on our behalf. Our family is seeing this as an adventure in trusting God, and we'll let you know how it goes.

A Great Hymn Story

Joachim Neander was born on May 30, 1650. He only lived thirty years. In those thirty years he served faithfully an an endearing pastor and as the author of sixty hymns. In his spare time, he loved to hike through a beautiful valley near Dusseldorf, and after his untimely death from tuberculosis, this valley (or thal in German) was named for him - Neander-thal. (you know what's coming, don't you.)

Ironically, many years later the skeletal remains of an early race of humans were found in that valley and dubbed "Neanderthal man." The discovery gave a temporary boost to supporters of human evolution. How odd that the name of the writer of one of our greatest creation hymns should be attached to a theory he never would have supported.

   Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of creation!
   O my soul, praise Him, for He is thy health and salvation!
   All ye who hear, now to His temple draw near;
   Praise Him in glad adoration.

   Praise to the Lord, who over all things so wondrously reigneth,
   Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth!
   Hast thou not seen how thy desires e'er have been
   Granted in what He ordaineth?

   Praise to the Lord, O let all that is in me adore Him!
   All that hath life and breath, come now with praises before Him.
   Let the amen, sound from His people again,
   Gladly for aye we adore Him.

We Laid A Hero To Rest Today

Ted Wilding is a hero. He's a hero because he did the hard things well. He didn't shy away from responsibility and demonstrated a tremendous love for his wife even under a most difficult situation.

I met Ted nine years ago when I became the minster of music at West County Assembly of God. Ted played the tuba in our orchestra. Very early in my time at the church I had the opportunity to sit down with Ted and get to know him better and hear his story. The short version is that he had played the sousaphone and tuba in high school and college. Once he started in his career, he didn't play again. Much later in life, at the urging of other musicians, he started playing an old sousaphone. At one point, the minister of music at WCAG at the time, Doug Gilliland, arranged for the church to buy a new tuba for Ted to play. He didn't know if it was because Doug wanted a tuba rather than a sousaphone, or if it was because the sousaphone always played slightly flat. Either way, Ted, and the orchestra, was blessed with a brand new instrument. Ted also played in a brass quintet that make up the brass section of our orchestra. I love to hear them play.

Today the brass quintet was a quartet. Ted slipped into eternity last Tuesday evening some time, sitting in his favorite chair. He was the caretaker for his lovely wife Jo. I still remember the time when Ted told me that Jo had been diagnosed with dementia, and the prognosis was that it would probably turn into full blown Alzheimer's disease. Over time, we watched Jo start to slip away, and Ted faithfully took care of her. At one point he brought her to our rehearsals, so she could be close by. She needed to see him close. A few months ago he started taking her to the restroom during our rehearsals because he was afraid if she went on her own she might not find her way back. About the same time he told me that he was going to have to sit out playing for our worship services because Jo needed him to be close by. He still played with the Orchestra for special songs and presentations, but most Sundays he sat with Jo. Kathy and I went to the assisted living apartments where Ted and Jo lived for dinner a few times. It was wonderful to watch Ted take care of Jo, and to see her enjoy our visits because she felt so comfortable with Ted's care. I never once heard Ted complain about his and Jo's life. He was always upbeat and was a delight to be around, particularly at our Orchestra rehearsals.

Today we laughed at memories, cried some, played and sang some of Ted's favorite music, and said goodbye. The wonderful thing is that we'll see Ted again. The promise of eternity with those we love, and in God's presence is what sustains us through these times of loss. Ted Wilding is a hero...

The Miracle of God's Creation

I mentioned in my last blog that I had been in Albany, Oregon, visiting with our daughter Aimee, her husband Jason and our grandchildren. I also met our newest grand daughter, Norah Grace. I hadn't held a brand new baby in some time, so as I held her, many times, in the days I was there, I was reminded of how delicate and tiny and perfect, God's creation is. I was fascinated by her fingers, each one perfectly formed. Her tiny, tiny fingernails, miniatures of mine. Each facet and feature of her face placed there with exacting detail. While I realize I'm biased, this little girl is one of the most beautiful of God's creations.

Lately I have been fascinated with the bigness of God. Recently I read an article about the vastness of the universe and how that despite advances in methods to see farther out into space, the writer of the article concluded that we would really never know how big our universe is, much less what else is out there. As I thought about the findings of the author, I thought that God had to be bigger than we can possibly imagine in order to have created and bring order to this huge creation. Then, I was awed again as I sat and held Norah and marveled at God's incredible detail in miniature. I had an interesting question. How does a baby's heart start and how big is that heart. Scientists tell us that a baby's heart begins to beat at about 5 weeks after conception and at 5 weeks, the entire baby is only 1/16 to 1/8 inch (1.5 to 3 millimeters) long. That means that the heart is nearly microscopic. I wonder if God takes the responsibility to start each new heart? I wonder if His assistant says to Him, "God, today 27,567 new babies are ready to have their hearts start beating." And in His Omnipresent way, He begins the process of breathing life by starting brand new, tiny, tiny hearts beating.

I am constantly amazed that the Creator of the universe, is also the same God who cares about microscopic details, like beginning new life. He does love us, He does care for us, He does know exactly where we are at and what we need. He is always there. Norah Grace, you won't remember my visit, but thanks for the reminder of who our wonderful God is.



It Doesn't Get Much Better Than This

I'm in Oregon for a few days visiting with my daughter Aimee, son-in-law Jason, and grandchildren Mattie, Elyse, JJ and my newest granddaughter, Norah Grace. Here's a picture I took yesterday as we were both going in and out of consciousness. It's amazing how relaxed you can be when you are holding a new baby. In the moments when I was actually awake, it struck me how dependent Norah was on me to hold her, not drop her, pat her a little when she stirred and generally look out for her welfare while I was holding her. While she is too young to figure out who she can trust and not trust, I think that at this age, trust is automatic. It is expected. Boy, don't you wish you could trust like that again. We've had too many life experiences that have put barriers and filters up so that we can evaluate who we can trust and who we ought to avoid.
The beauty of trusting God is that we can trust him just like Norah was trusting me. No preconceived ideas, no conditions, not even any perceived outcomes, just simple trust that God has it all in control. He said in His word that He would never leave us or forsake us. He is there for us. I was thinking about that as I held Norah and she took a nap. Maybe that's what we should do, take a nap in the arms of Jesus, and trust Him...

I Will See the Goodness of the Lord

Psalm 27 was part of my read-the-Bible-through-in-a-year reading today. It begins with two huge statements of confidence in who God is. The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid? (emphasis mine) The Bible's description of Heaven tells us that there is no night there because Christ is the source of light. I wonder if that means there will not be any shadows. After all, if God is omnipresent, He would be on all sides of any object at the same time, no shadows. There are three powerful words here, light, salvation and stronghold. When you let that sink in, there really isn't a reason to fear or be afraid.

Later on in the Psalm the author writes, One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. There are days when we wish this would come to pass as soon as possible. The wonderful thing about this is that even in our toughest times, we know that one day we will dwell in the house of the Lord and we will gaze upon the beauty of the Lord. I have heard Christians wonder out loud if praising God will eventually get old in Heaven. I personally think that the process of uncovering the wonders of God will produce praise and worship and this process will go on throughout eternity. I think every moment will produce more wonderment and awe at who God is and what He has done, and our only response will be worship.

The Psalm ends with, I am confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. In our present day, consumer oriented culture, where everything is immediate, no one likes to wait. Sometimes, however, after we have exhausted all the things we can do, the only response is to wait. Even then, we sometimes can't resist the arrogance of telling God what He needs to do for us, now! I think sometimes God waits us out, waits out our struggling, throwing tantrums, trying to fix things, and then He moves on our behalf. If we believe He is our stronghold (verse 1), then in His strength we can be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (verse 14)

If you are having a tough time, this Psalm is for you. Read the entire Psalm and meditate on each section. Then, wait on the Lord. He's there...waiting for you.

Motherhood Is a High Calling

I live with a mother who has a high calling to be a mother. It became very evident when were were living in Linn County, Oregon in the early 80s. Kathy heard a public service announcement regarding the county's Social Services Department that was in desperate need of foster parents. We had two pre-schoolers at the time and we were on the pastoral staff of a large church in Albany, Oregon. After several discussions about the logistics of fostering children, and the consideration of moral and humanitarian implications, we signed up to take the classes and become foster parents. While Kathy and I are solidly pro-life, we are not protesters. We would probably never feel comfortable standing in front of a Planned Parenthood office or abortion clinic with a sign. But given the fact that at any given time there are approximately 500,000 children in foster care in the United States, caring for a child in this situation seemed to us to be a way to declare our commitment to life, to a watching world that seems to discard children without any remorse or second thought.

I must admit, Kathy was the primary care giver. I assisted her with a lot, but she is the one who cared for each child 24/7, took them to doctor appointments, took them for visits with their parents, met with the social workers, etc. There is not enough room to tell any of the stories, but each child was a story, including our very first baby with a huge hole in her heart that made her unadoptable. Our task was to care for her while treatment was decided on and then get her through the surgery(s) that would be needed and all the other things she would need. Before any of this took place, we had her dedicated in a church service and God healed that hole. Everyone who knew of her case was totally amazed.

I'm not sure how many children we had in our home in Oregon, but there were several, including the birth of our third child, Josh. When we moved to South Carolina, we were both working full time at Heritage USA, but we also cared for newborn pre-adoptive babies. We had several babies in SC, each time when they left our home to go to their adopted home, the new parents spent the night before the transfer with us in our home. One couple brought their video camera and videoed everything, including changing dirty diapers, feeding, especially burping, it was quite hilarious. Kathy was the perfect mother to turn over a new baby to adoptive parents. She made sure they knew everything they needed to know, and helped make the new parents feel comfortable with their new baby.

When we got to Denver, we were only one of two families that specialized in medically fragile or severely abused children. We saw some real miracles as severely abused babies started the healing process. These children were fortunate to have Kathy as a foster mom. She loved and nursed so many children back to health. It was in Denver where we adopted our three children who were not adoptable because of their birth problems, both medical and because their mothers abused alcohol or drugs while they were pregnant. I still remember the forms we had to sign for Nicole. The disclaimer form was longer than anything I have ever seen. They wanted to make sure that we went into this adoption with our eyes wide open. I thought we would stop at one, or two, but it was mom, Kathy, who couldn't turn a child away. Today we have three teenagers in our home that we love dearly. Even though they have presented some unique challenges, they are wonderful children.

There have been times when I have sat back and been awed by Kathy's commitment to children, to watch her love and care for them without any regrets or selfishness. She has given up a lot over the years to do this, (35+ children) but somehow I think that she wouldn't have changed a thing. For her, motherhood is a high calling.

Here's a Glimpse of My Mom

Mothers are wonderful people. They sacrifice everything for their children. They love, protect, nurture and set aside their own needs and desires for their children. My mother is no different. Even after all the years I have been an adult, with my own family, my mom is still my loving, protecting, nurturing mom.

When my two sisters and I were in elementary school we had an annual late summer routine that the kids loved. I'm not so sure it was as much fun for my mother. My mom didn't drive during these early years, so when the appointed day came, we walked down to the bus stop and took the public bus to downtown San Jose. On one of the main downtown intersections was a huge J.C. Penney store. For several hours the three of us would try on clothes, pick new underwear, try on shoes and get ready for the new school year. After we paid for our purchases, we would load up our bags and walk down a block to the big Woolworth store. We would climb up on the lunch counter stools, put our bags at our feet and enjoy a real treat, lunch in a restaurant. We didn't eat out very often when we were growing up, so having lunch at the Woolworth lunch counter was a treat to look forward to all year. After we had eaten the last bite, we would load up our Penny's bags and head back a block to catch the bus for home. I can remember thinking that I hated for the day to end as the bus got close to our stop. It eventually got there, we loaded up our bags and walked home and put away all our new school clothes. My mom made this a great day for us, a fun day that I remember so fondly.

As an adult, I now know how hard my parents had to work to provide for us. I know my mom set aside many of her desires and needs so that we would have what we needed. Her example help mold me, and build character into my life. I know everyone thinks they have the best mom in the world. Too bad they didn't have mine, it would change their mind. (By the way, I still buy my underwear at J.C. Penny. As a child I loved the smell of a brand new tee shirt, I still do...)  

Freedom and the Voice of God

I have just started reading Bill Hybels book, The Power Of A Whisper. Near the beginning of the book Bill talks about some of his experiences in hearing the voice of God, and how awesome and humbling it is to know that God would speak to us. Specifically to us.

Reading the first pages of the book reminded me of a time when I was as frustrated as I could be as a worship leader. We had joined the staff of a church in the northwest part of Denver and my assignment was to help transition this church from a fairly traditional congregational singing church to a worshipping church. What this entailed was working with a choir and musicians, helping them understand what we were trying to do, and to communicate to the congregation, mostly by our actions and attitudes and not a lot of talking. Week after week I carefully prepared music that would help us all make this transition. We learned some wonderful new worship music, we put together a small vocal worship team, we rehearsed faithfully each week, and we blended hymns and older songs into the mix so there would be something for everyone, and nothing. I mean nothing. Each week it felt like our musical offerings to the Lord made it to the end of our stage and dropped off onto the floor. I would look out and see people yawning, talking, half heartedly singing and it would wipe me out. I can remember telling the Lord how futile it was trying to help this congregation learn to worship Him.

On one Sunday, after the second service of the day, I was driving home alone, feeling sorry for myself and complaining to the Lord about how I thought things had gone. And then God spoke to me. I can take you to the exact place in the road where it happened. While I don't believe I heard the audible voice of God, the impact created a lifetime transformation for me. He said, "You are not responsible for any results. When you lead people into My Presence, it is up to Me to affect their lives. All you need to do is to worship Me, worship with all your heart, people will watch you, join with you and they will enter My Presence where I will have the opportunity to change their lives". I cannot tell you how freeing that was for me. While it took some time to totally let go of my need to "see people respond", it was the beginning of a change for this congregation. After this encounter I began to have people come up to me and tell me how "meaningful this song was", or "I really was able to worship God this morning". Sometimes people made these kind of comments to me and I remember looking out over the congregation and not seeing anything unusual happening to them. No hands raised, no "heavenly glow", but it didn't matter. God was at work and I didn't have to worry about the results. If you are in a ministry position today and you are struggling with your effectiveness, just do what God has called you to do. Let Him take care of the results. It's freeing....it really is.

Our Bodies Are Miraculous Creations

Last week I was reminded again of God's unbelievable attention to detail when he created us. I had a visit with a new cardiologist. After listening to my Atrial Fibrillation story, he decided to do a stress test. I'll have that on Friday of this week. As part of the appointment, he decided to have a heart ultrasound done to make sure that my heart muscle is strong and that everything, except for the erratic rhythm, is working good.

I was turned away from the ultrasound monitor so I could not see any of the images that were being recorded. Since it took about 45 minutes, there is a lot of video of my heart beating. When the test was over and I was putting on my shirt, I looked at the monitor and saw that the last images were still there. It showed one of my valves opening and closing. I watched as the valve, in concert with the other part of my heart that was visible, worked to move blood through my heart. I was nearly overcome emotionally as I watched the valve work and realized how wonderfully we are put together. As I got ready to write this blog, I did a quick calculation. If I estimate that my heart has averaged 75 beats per minute, for 61 years and 2 months, the valve I was watching has opened and closed two billion, four hundred and fifty million, five hundred and twenty thousand times since I was born. (2,450,520,000) And that doesn't included the time in my mother's womb.

The Bible tells us in Psalm 39:13-14; For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; (my emphasis) your works are wonderful, I know that full well. I left the building with a deeper appreciation for the God we serve. The God who loves us, who knows us intimately and who loves us with an overwhelming love. By the way, the test showed my heart is very strong and working well, except for the irregular heart beat. I'm hoping this cardiologist will be able to help me with that.

A Friend Meets Jesus Face To Face

A good friend met Jesus face-to-face yesterday morning. He had bone cancer and finally lost the mortal battle, but won the eternal one. Ralph Matsen was a hard-headed, loving, generous, opinionated, and complex friend who help Kathy and I get off to a good start in the ministry.

In 1974 I moved from San Jose, California to Eureka, in northern California to become the first youth pastor Bethel Church ever had. Since the church could not pay me enough to live in my own place, I moved in with Ralph and Christine. We started having student meetings in the church, but the environment wasn't right. The room we were assigned was too dark, hard to find and did not lend itself well to junior and senior high students. After a few weeks I asked Ralph and Christine if we could use their family room for student meetings. Our attendance took off and we never looked back. When Kathy and I got married, my salary increased enough so that we were able to rent a small house. About that time, in a conversation with Ralph about how much our group had grown, and we were out of room in their family room, he suggested that we look for a facility that would really help us expand. Ralph was the first out-of-the-box thinker I ever met. We drove around Eureka and looked at all kinds of buildings. We finally settled on a swim and racquet club that had been built for a subdivision and had gone out of business because of a large lawsuit. For a rookie youth pastor, the thought of having this kind of facility was beyond dreaming. We cleaned, painted, landscaped and bought equipment and furniture for the Gathering Inn. At the time, I did not know of another student group anywhere that had their own facility like this. From the pool, to a racquetball court, tennis courts, sauna, large meeting room with a kitchen and room for pool tables and ping pong tables, it was incredible. While a team of students and Kathy and I make the final result a reality, it was Ralph's vision and financial support that made it all happen.

I owe a debt of gratitude to Ralph and Christine for their support, love and help as Kathy and I got started. They believed in us and invested their lives, time and money into ideas that were untested and probably not well planned out. But God blessed our efforts and many, many young people found the Lord in our student meetings. Lives were transformed and several students are in full time ministry today because what happened during that time. So, Ralph, thank you so much for your influence in my life. So long for now, my friend, we'll get the chance to catch up with each other again.

Your Ear Gets Cut Off and It Saves Your LIfe

One of the most interesting stories surrounding the events of Holy Week is the account of the High Priest's servant. Unfortunately the Biblical narrative is very brief, but I began to think about the implications of what happened. Malchus, the High Priest's servant, was probably the equivalent of a modern day executive assistant. The High Priest sent him with the group to arrest Jesus. In fact, he may have been the leader of the group. The High Priest couldn't go because it wouldn't have politically expedient, and he was going to be one of main prosecutors. When the group arrives to make the arrest, one of Jesus' disciples pulls out a sword and off comes Malchus' ear. Can you imagine the pain, and the screaming that took place. Undoubtedly, many other swords came out and it could have gotten ugly right away. Jesus steps up, takes the severed ear and puts it back in place. I wish there would have been a way to capture the astonishment on Malchus' face. I'm sure in Christ's complete and perfect way of doing things, there was not a scar, line or any other evidence that the ear had ever been anything less than perfect. I don't think Jesus cleaned him up. All the blood was still there, and perhaps dirt and leaves and other debris from rolling around on the ground in pain.

Can you imagine the encounter when Malchus went back to report to the High Priest. The HP probably didn't even ask about the arrest at first, he would have wanted to know how Malchus had gotten so dirty, and bloody. Can you imagine the servant trying to explain that his ear had been cut off, and yet when the High Priest examined his ear and scalp, he could see that nothing was wrong with the ear.

I can't help but think that throughout the afternoon, as Jesus hung on the cross, from a distance away Malchus observed all that went on. Every few minutes his hand would slip up to his ear, a finger would run around the spot where it had been severed, and Malchus' heart hurt a little more. Along with the centurion, he may have whispered the words, "truly, He was the son of God." I think Malchus lost an ear (not really) and gained his life...

Sometime It Pays To Be A Rookie

Another story that is totally fascinating to me is the account in Matthew, Mark and Luke of the tearing of the temple curtain. Once again, however, none of the writers goes overboard with their narrative of the incident. Notice, Matt 27:51 At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. Mark 15:38 The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. Luke 23:44-45 It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. That is it! One of the biggest events of the whole week and that's all they write. The tremendous symbolism of the curtain tearing is that it gave all of us access to the Holy of Holies. In other words, Jesus really did redeem us, individually and personally, never again would we need a human to go before God for us. What a tremendous change.

We know from the original organizational system of caring for the temple, the Levites or priests had regular rotations and specific duties. They were assigned these duties by clans and in some cases, the special talents and requirements of the job were taught and handed down from generation to generation. I think that on this day, all of the priests wanted to be where the action was. They wanted to see Jesus carry his cross on the Via Dolorosa, they wanted to be at Golgatha to see the nails pounded into his wrists and feet, and they wanted to see what happened as he hung on the cross. I think that they chose the youngest priest with no senority to tend to the temple on that afternoon. This poor guy is already shaking in his boots because he is the only one there. (have you ever been alone in a big church building with all the lights out?) It got dark, the sun stopped shining, the earth shook, and rocks split. I can imagine that this rookie priest was nearly out his mind with fear. And then it happened...he heard an awful tearing sound. He looked into the Holy Place and almost had a heart attack. He clapped his hands over his face and covered his eyes as quickly as he possibly could. For a second he was looking into the Holy of Holies and staring at the Ark of the Covenant. He knew that meant instant death. After a few moments, he realizes he's not dead, he slowly looks through his fingers and, yes, it is the Ark of the Covenant and the huge, thick curtain is now in two parts, each part pushed to the outside walls of the temple. He slowly walks to where the curtain hung. He reaches out, and then quickly pulls his hand back. He reaches out again, and pulls it back. Then he puts in his whole arm, then a leg, and finally he steps into the Holy of Holies. I believe that right then the Holy Spirit came down and started a one man revival right on the spot. I can imagine the rookie priest dancing aroung the Ark, praising God and shouting at the top of his lungs. He was in the manifest presence of God, alive, more alive than he had ever been. So what if he had to stay at the temple and miss all the action. His life would never be the same again.

I pray that as we celebrate Maunday Thursday, Tenebrae and Good Friday services, that God's manifest presence will be real for each one of us. Oh Lord, even if we need to be rookies again, help us know You and the reality of Your sacrifice for us.

Some Unusual Events During Holy Week

I have always been fascinated by the events of Holy Week. From the triumphal entry through the resurrection, and beyond the week to the Day of Pentecost and Christ's ascension. I am continually frustrated by the lack of narrative in the gospels, particularly when an event seems so monumental. Through the years I have taken some of these events and meditated on them and come up with my own idea for why the event is even mentioned at all, and the implications of it for us. During the next few days I'm going to write about some of these.

The first one comes from Mark 14:50-52. Then everyone deserted him and fled. A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind. Now, why in the world is this account in Mark's gospel? What does a New Testament streaker have to do with Christ's arrest? I also find it interesting that verse 50 tells about everyone deserting Christ, which I take it mean all of the disciples and their followers. This young man, in verse 51 is identified as a follower of Jesus as well.

Matthew Henry in his famous commentary says that this young man probably lived near the garden where Jesus was arrested, was curious about all the noise, threw on a linen sheet and went out to investigate. Since everyone else ran away, the Roman soldiers tried to arrest him by grabbing his clothes and he ran out of his clothes, naked as a jaybird (my twist on the story) into the night. The Bible Illustrator commentary says that the young man was the writer of the book of Mark, John Mark. This impulsive behavior, throwing a linen sheet around himself, was consistent with other things that we know about Mark. The commentary also says the reason that this account only appears in the book of Mark is that, since everyone who was following Christ had run away, Mark was the only one who knew what happened when the soldiers tried to grab him. The commentary writer also says that it was common for New Testament writers to include anecdotes about themselves in their writing without identifying themselves.

So there you have it. John Mark, who would eventually write the book of Mark, decides, probably on a whim, to see what all the commotion is about. He wraps himself in a linen cloth and runs into the garden to see what was going on. On the way into the garden he is passed by all the devoted and brave disciples and followers running for their lives the other way. The soldiers try to make at least one arrest beside Jesus, and wind up with just a linen sheet for their troubles. I hope Mark lived nearby the garden. If they had decency laws in that day, he may have been arrested for public nudity.

So what is the takeaway for us living in the 21st century. For all the teaching the disciples received, for all the miracles they saw, for all the changed lives they observed, when "push came to shove", they acted like humans. Finite beings who resorted to self preservation by running as fast as they could away from trouble. As I have thought about this short account, I have wondered if I would have acted differently? Would I admit, unlike Peter, that, "yes, I am one of His followers", or would I have done exactly what Peter did? Fortunately, we know the "rest of the story." We know what happened. We know the triumph of the resurrection. The disciples and followers didn't. So I guess the short answer is that I probably would have done exactly the same as they did. More later...

The World Is Ready For Another Triumphal Entry

Hundreds of years before Christ made His triumphal entry into Jerusalem, Zechariah wrote in chapter 9, verse 9, Rejoice greatly, O Daughter of Zion! Shout, Daughter of Jerusalem! See, your king comes to you, righteous and having salvation, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey. Zechariah goes on to accurately foretell the coming of the Messiah. Matthew, Luke and John all give the account of Christ riding triumphantly into Jerusalem. The three accounts differ on one point. Matthew says the people spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the tress and spread them on the road. Luke says people spread their cloaks on the road. From John's account we get the name Palm Sunday. He said, They took palm branches and went out to meet him.

In each account, the result is the same. The people greeted Jesus as the conquering King who would rule over them and oust the Roman government that was oppressing them. They didn't realize that the humble procession, Jesus riding on a donkey's colt, was meant to represent a different kind of kingdom. One that emphasized the first shall be last, and children, widows and orphans were great in the eyes of the King. This was to be a spiritual kingdom, not a political one.

Today our world is desperate for another triumphal entry. There is not a political ruler in any country who knows what to do. There is unrest in every major region of the world. If it is not political, it is religious. In New Zealand and Japan it is physical as these countries try to recover from devastating earthquakes and the effects of them. Even in our own country we have a multitude of serious issues that are causing division from Congress to the Presidency, to states that are fighting with unions, to unrest at our borders. States that are bankrupt and inflation that is accelerating the erosion of our way of life.

As Christians, we know the only Triumphal Entry that we need has already taken place. Now we look for the Triumphal Return. Until then, we absolutely must make a difference in a desperate world as we share the answer to the hole in people's lives. May this Easter season bring triumphant peace and new relationships in Christ as we affect people's lives for Him.

Running From the Boogieman

There was no worse nightmare for me as a kid than getting chased by a boogieman or monster. In every dream, I tried to run, but my legs operated in slow motion and I could never get away. Fortunately, I always woke up before I got caught. Every once in while, as an adult, I will have one of these "getting chased" dreams. I'm always very happy when I wake up to find out that my legs really do work much better then in my dream.

I was reading this morning about the account of King David conquering the Jebusites and taking up residence in Jerusalem. It was eventually named the City of David. Shortly after that they tried to bring the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem and failed. About the same time, the Philistines decided to create some havoc. David inquires of the God, "Shall I go and attack the Philistines? Will you hand them over to me?" The Lord answered, "Go, I will hand them over to you." God goes on to say "As soon as you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the balsam trees, move out to battle because that will mean God has gone out in front of you to strike the Philistine army." The final verse of this says "..and they struck down the Philistine army, all the way from Gibeon to Gezer."

As I thought about this, I wondered, when God intervened on Israel's behalf, and there are many accounts of this happening in the scriptures, what did it look like? What would cause seasoned warriors to turn on themselves or get so spooked that they ran for their lives? I wonder if these enemy armies ran into the ultimate Boogieman? There is a hint of what may have happened on this day in Psalm 18, a psalm of deliverance.
    The Lord thundered from heaven;
      the voice of the Most High resounded.
    He shot arrows and scattered the enemies,
      bolts of lightning and routed them.
    The valleys of the sea were exposed
      and the foundations of the earth laid bare
    at the rebuke of the Lord,
      at the blast of breath from his nostrils.

Now that sounds like a soldier's worst nightmare if you are fighting on the wrong side. I imagine legs got weak, screams of terror filled the air and everything was left behind as the enemy army ran away as fast as they could go. We've read the "end of the book." Anyone who fights Israel is going to have to fight the Boogieman, and He doesn't lose.

A Wonderful Childhood Memory

On Monday, I received the latest issue of Heritage magazine. It is an Assemblies of God publication that chronicles the history of the Assemblies of God and the Pentecostal movement. The first two articles in this issue were accounts of the early Hispanic Pentecostal movement in the United States, particularly in the Southwest. I read these articles with great interest because my grandfather was a pioneer pastor in the Spanish speaking Assemblies of God and I attended his church in San Jose, California until age 15. It was fun to see pictures of people that I knew, including one of my uncle's graduation from Bible College in 1940. I knew many of these people because they were friends and contemporaries of my grandparents and they hosted many people over the years in their San Jose home. When I was old enough to go places with my grandfather, I would attend many ministerial meetings and events with him. I think I became his shadow. One of the great times every summer was going over to Bethany University (then Bethany Bible College) for the Spanish District Council. It was great to run around with kids from all over the western part of the United States while our parents and grandparents attended the various church services and business meetings.

After reading the articles, I was reminiscing about memories from my Spanish church days. One incident from the 1950s stands out in particular. One of the stops that Oral Roberts made with his huge 75,000 seat tent was at the Santa Clara County Fairgrounds in San Jose. The organizers had met with all of the ministerial associations in the city to gather support for the crusade. The "reward" for the leaders of each group was that they could sit on the platform for one of the healing crusade services. Since my grandfather was a Spanish Assemblies of God leader at the time, one of those nights, he and his fellow leaders were ushered to the platform for a unique perspective of the crusade service. Since I went everywhere with him, there I was, a child, sitting among the Spanish ministers, watching the power of God in action. I do not remember anything about the service. I can't remember any of the music, the preaching, or any other aspect. I do remember the healing line. At the end of the platform there was a ramp that started on the right side of the platform and came up to the platform height just about the center of it. Oral Roberts sat in a chair at the top of the ramp and people lined up, to a child it looked like blocks, to get prayed for. After awhile, wheel chairs, braces and crutches started to accumulate on the stage. Even now, if I close my eyes and think about that evening, I can see every detail in my mind. The opportunity to experience God's power in action from about 20 feet away will always be with me. This experience has fueled a life long desire to see God supernatural manifest Himself in the lives of His people. I hope I never lose that desire.

My 31 Year Old Daughter I Have Never Met

I have been sick, and home, with the flu this week. When I was feeling better, I decided to read a couple of books on my reading list. One of those was Heaven Is For Real, by Todd Burpo. Todd is a Wesleyan pastor who wrote about his 4 year old son's near death experience. The book is a best seller, and an easy read. I would recommend it.

Chapter 17, Two Sisters, wiped me out. In this chapter, Colton (the 4 year old) announces to his mom that he has two sisters. The problem is Colton only has one older sister. Because of Colton's age, his parents had not chosen to tell him about a miscarriage that had happened years earlier. Colton tells his mom that his sister in heaven looks a lot like his older sister Cassie, just smaller and with dark hair. He went on "in heaven, this little girl ran up to me, and she wouldn't stop hugging me." Let me say here, if you are a parent who has lost a child to miscarriage, you need to read this book. This chapter alone will bring tremendous comfort and peace to you.

In November of 1979 we were moving from a church in Manteca, California to a church in Albany, Oregon. The day the movers were at our home loading all our possessions on a truck, Kathy began to miscarry our 4 month old baby. I rushed her to the emergency room and over the next hours they took good care of Kathy through the miscarriage and the D & C procedure that followed. They kept her overnight and the next day we set out for Albany, Oregon. When we got there, I had to go immediately to work because as the new minister of music, we had the Christmas season in front of us with a lot of music to learn, rehearse and present. We did the best we could to heal, but it was a difficult time, particularly because we did not know anyone in our new city very well.

Fast forward to a time when we were serving a church in the Denver area. Our choir was singing the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir arrangement of I Bowed On My Knees and Cried Holy. Kathy told me that as we sang the song, she saw a picture, perhaps a vision, of her grandmother, who had passed away in the 70s holding the hand of a little girl with red hair, Kathy's color. I know that gave Kathy great comfort.

As I read chapter 17, I began to weep uncontrollably. After 31 years, I realized that I had never dealt with the grief of losing this baby. Between making sure Kathy was taken care of, driving to and getting settled in a new city, starting a new job and jumping into the Christmas season, I never stopped. After Christmas that first year, it was on to Easter and everything else that went into this new ministry. On Wednesday, when Kathy got home, I tried to tell her about this chapter and about my own personal experience. I could hardly get the words out. I have not cried this hard in a long, long time. I realized, however, that at one point, my tears of grief turned to tears of joy. Joy, because one day I'm going to meet this young lady, my daughter I have never met.