Thoughts From A Government Statistic

As we prepare to leave the St. Louis area, one of the main transition items is selling the house we have owned for almost 10 years. We purchased this home at a very good price because it was a work in progress. The previous owners had done some updates and remodeling, but there was a lot of work to be done. In the ten years we have owned the house we have added a full bath, added a fourth bedroom, installed new windows and back entry doors, put on a new insulated garage door, a high recovery fifty gallon water heater, painted every room, updated the master bath and many other improvements. With the passage of about five years and all the improvements, our house appraised for $45,000 more than we paid for the house in 2007. While we were pleased, it is still a work in progress.

Then came 2008.   Kathy and I watched the news stories, read the articles, and heard the horror stories of people trying to sell homes as the real estate market started its free-fall. While the falling prices affected us, just as they did everyone else, they really didn't affect us because we weren't trying to sell our house. It is interesting how we all react to bad events or bad news. The more distant the event, or news, the less it affects us. We may feel badly for the people affected, but in reality, because these events or news do not impact us personally, they quickly lose their punch. Even though some events take years to recover from, like the Gulf hurricanes, the Joplin, MO tornado, etc., because the majority of us are not affected, the news becomes old news fairly quickly.

In the summer of 2011, our world was shaken with the loss of my job I had done for nine years. At the worst possible time to look for a new job, and to sell a house, we were doing both. Suddenly all the housing articles and television stories took on a whole new meaning. Now we were part of the statistical base. Suddenly reality hit us in the face. The house that had appreciated in the first five years we owned it, now was probably only worth what we had paid for it in 2002. But since we had added approximately $30,000 in improvements, we now had a house that was worth significantly less than what we had expected it to be worth. From July, 2011 until just before Christmas, 2011, we tried to sell our house. While we had a few people look at it, we did not have anyone interested enough to submit an offer. For awhile in 2012, it appeared we might be able to stay in St. Louis. In June, however, I received the job offer that we accepted, in Tucson, Arizona. Now we are trying to sell our house again. This time, all the stories impact us. We are government statistics. We are looking at alternative selling options, like a short sale, or the possibility of leasing the house until the market improves. Some experts believe that may be ten years. What should we do? There aren't any good answers.

The bottom line for us, in the face of very dismal news, is that we are still blessed. We have been able to make every mortgage payment on time. While many good people have had to walk away from their homes, and lose everything they have invested in them, God has helped us keep our loan commitment, reputation, and faith in His ability to help us, intact. So, in spite of being a true government statistic, the more important thing is that we are God's children. "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11:11-13 Waiting on God's will and direction can be difficult, because we want everything to happen on our schedule. As I have learned with a new job, His schedule works pretty well. Well, I need to stop writing, we have to clean the house for another showing...

God Knows, He Cares, and He Provides

Luke 12:24-26  Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?


The picture on the right is our Blessing Box. At the beginning of our unem- ployment last year, Kathy had the idea, when the first unexpected blessing came, to keep a record of all the things that God might do for us. In one sense it was a record, and in another sense, because we started it with the very first blessing, either we were very presumptive that God would help us, or we simply believed His Word, and counted on His promises being true. The latter was true for us. When we were first married, we had a few months of very tight financial times. God provided for us throughout that period, so we knew God's promises were true. It had been quite awhile, however, since that time. In the mid 80s, we had an experience of God's provision that still amazes us when we talk about it. We wanted to buy a house in South Carolina, near the PTL Television Network, because Kathy and I were both working long and erratic hours. We had lost all our equity in our previous house because of a housing recession in the Northwest, so we borrowed money from both of our parents for a down payment. We agreed to pay them back over a 3 or 4 year period. (foggy memory) The incredible thing is that we paid this money back in 1 year. To this day, we have never really figured out how that came about. All we know is that God helped us, blessed us and showed Himself real to us. Now, fast forward to last October.


October 2011 began a period of no income. I had been given 4.5 months of severance pay and health insurance. 4.5 months for 9 years of service seems fair, and is based on a formula that many businesses use. The only difference is that for most employees, after severance pay, unemployment pay begins. The US government has extended some benefits to 99 months. Churches are exempt from paying into the unemploy- ment insurance program, and therefore, church employees are not eligible. And, in addition to having our pay end, I was now responsible for paying our health insurance premium, another $1,500 monthly addition to a family budget with no income. That is when the miracles started to happen. Wonderful friends committed to helping us with our mortgage payment, other friends helped us at key times, when bills needed to be paid. We learned how to live much more frugally, and conserve the funds we did have. Going to the mailbox became an adventure as we were sent gift cards for grocery stores, restaurants, gas stations, fast food places and even an Oberweiss gift card! We received a wonderful ham for Christmas, groceries dropped off at our doorstep, shopping trips to Sam's and many other blessings. Our little glass box began to fill up as we experienced incredible blessings from God, via our friends and sometimes, people we did not know. Just like our experience in the 80s, I can't tell you exactly how it happened, but after 13 months of unemployment and under-employment, all our bills are paid and they have been paid on time. We have accumulated a little credit card debt, but once we have a regular paycheck, we can take care of that. We have been humbled, and awed by what God has done. Luke 12:24-26 has indeed been real for us.


We have one more hurdle to jump. This month we transferred the last of our savings into our checking account. In the beginning, we had a 4 month *Dave Ramsey emergency fund in savings. Amazingly, it lasted 10 months! As we move to Tucson, Arizona to begin a new pastoral position, we will have a rent payment and a mortgage payment, deposits, some moving costs and one more health insurance payment. For the first time in 10 months, the well is dry. Concerned, yes, worried, no. God has met us too many times in these past months for us to worry or panic. If we start to worry, all we have to do is pull out some of the pieces of paper in our Blessing Box. God is good... (*Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University program)

A West Coast Celebration of Life

If you regularly read my blog postings, you know that my father passed away on March 17, 2012. We had a wonderful celebration of his life in March in Wake Forest, North Carolina.

Today we had another celebration of his life in San Jose, California. My parents, their extended families and other friends all moved to the Bay Area of California during WWII. The men went off to war and the ladies worked in the shipyards and other war related jobs. After the war ended, my parents married and started a family. About that time, my grandfather began pastoring a Spanish speaking Assemblies of God church in San Jose. From my birth until sometime in my 15th year, my family and I attended the church. In my 15th year, my grandfather died of stomach cancer. My parents were leaders in the church, taught Sunday School classes and conducted seminars for many Spanish churches in how to have a healthy and productive Sunday School. When I was about 12 years old, I began playing the piano for church services in my grandfather's church. So, with all those connections, it seemed right to celebrate his life, again, in San Jose.

So today, we held a San Jose celebration service for my father at Bethel Church, our adopted home church. Many of our west coast relatives attended and many people from the Spanish speaking church, Templo La Hermosa (Beautiful Temple), attended. It was a wonderful time of seeing relatives I had not seen in many years, and renewing relationships with people who had attended my grandfather's church many years ago. My dad's children and some of his grandchildren shared many memories, experiences and stories of my father's influence in their lives. During the lunch that followed the service, we all agreed that it had been much too long since we had seen each other, and that we all must do a better job of staying in contact. After the service, my son Josh and I, drove to the Willow Glen part of San Jose so he could see my childhood home, and then we drove to Templo La Hermosa to see where his spiritual heritage was formed.

Our extended family and friends that attended today represent a wide variety of people, of education, of employment, and success. When it was all boiled down to the reality of our being together, none of that mattered. What did matter is that there was a lot of love in the room, even though it hadn't been expressed in a long time. Nobody loves you like your family. We decided today that even though a lot of miles separate us, we all must do a better job of staying in contact. My dad would have been proud today. Not just because of all the great things that were said about him, but because it brought together a wonderful set of people that shared the greatest human emotion - love.

Another Birthday For An Incredible Woman

Today is Kathy's birthday. I won't tell you how old she is, but she was a child bride and next month we will celebrate 36 wonderful years of marriage. You do the math...

She has been a life partner, a team mate with me in church ministry, a great mom, foster mom, adoptive mom, grandmother, Godly example to our children and grandchildren and many people whom she has influenced for good. She has taught many of you in Sunday School classes, small group meetings and workshops and seminars. She helped coordinate many of your children's weddings, directed your church women's groups, directed kid's choirs, youth choir's, ensembles, adult choirs, played the harp for every kind of occasion, sang in ensembles she coordinated and sung on many worship teams. She has sat with you in the hospital, praying and encouraging you as you worried about your loved you there. She has had many meals, meetings and telephone conversations with women who needed a compassionate and godly ear, a loving shoulder to cry on, and someone they could count on to be a prayer partner. She has entertained many of you in our home with her wonderful hospitality gift.

On our first date, she told me she wanted to be a pastor's wife. I told her that was the dumbest thing I ever heard. 36 years later, this pastor's wife and I are about to embark on a new ministry adventure. As we have walked together through the most difficult year of our marriage, she has never complained once about being a pastor's wife, or being career ministers. Even when her prayers for the details of a new job didn't come to pass (she asked the Lord to be near relatives, live in a place that was familiar, and wasn't too hot in the summer), she is looking forward to moving to Tucson, Arizona, a place we've never even visited, isn't near any of our relatives and has triple digit temperatures for much of the summer. She is a trooper, called of God, to be exactly what she has become.

The writer of Proverbs 31 had Kathy in mind when he wrote: She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." (Emphasis mine)


Kathy's oldest grandson is in the picture with her, Jackson, our first teenage grandchild. She has on her Tim Tebow Denver Broncos jersey. She is one of the top 10 Bronco fans of all time. (When we found out we were moving to Tucson, one of the first things she did was check the Broncos schedule for this upcoming season and found out they play the Arizona Cardinals in a pre-season game in Phoenix in August. Guess where she'll be.)


Happy birthday, baby doll...you deserve it. 

Another Employment Update

It's been six months since I last wrote an employment update blog. If you are a new reader, I lost my church staff pastor job in June of 2011. Since that time, I have diligently worked at finding another full time position, a position that would allow me to use a lot of years of experience and education. I am happy to report that after 101 resumes, and 4 job offers, on Sunday, July 29, 2012, I will begin a new job as the Executive Pastor at Eastside Assembly in Tucson, Arizona. This is a position that will take advantage of my experience, education and church business certification.

This spring I wrote an article that was published in the Summer 2012 edition of  NACBA Ledger, a professional journal for members of the National Association of Church Business Administration. The title was Learning Lessons from Being Unemployed. I covered four areas, 1. You must leave the past and look forward to the future, 2. You find out who your true firends are, 3. This is a very difficult employment market, 4. God's Word is true, and His promises are meant to be stood upon. (If you would like to read my article, send me your email address to me and I'll send you a pdf copy. louiesalazar@sbcglobal.net)

I learned some tremendous lessons in this past year, and the greatest of them was that God speaks to us through His word in dynamic and timely ways. I cannot tell you how many days, in either my regular course of Bible reading, or spontaneous reading, a portion of God's Word spoke very clearly to me. God's Word helped me deal with the disappointment of submitting over one hundred resumes, and not hearing back a single word from over 50 % of the churches and organizations I had contacted. God's Word helped me deal with the disappointment of not hearing from people I had worked closely with, people I considered friends and fellow leaders. God's Word helped me deal with the fear of not being able to stretch our savings to bridge the gap, a gap we did not know how long would last. As opportunities became available this spring, God's Word helped Kathy and I make the right decision on which opportunity to choose. I can tell you this, it is very scary to turn down three opportunities without knowing if there would be another one. Here's how that played out...

The first job offer was from a large compassion ministry in St. Louis. While I know I could have helped this ministry with my experience and skills, not all the pieces were falling into place, and we decided this would not work for us, or them. The second opportunity was at a large Assemblies of God camp, retreat and conference center. Again, while I felt my skills would have been a good fit, I could not get a peace from God that this was the right position. I initially accepted an offer from a wonderful church in the St. Louis area to be their Music Director. As a lead up to my first week of employement there, I attended eight services. On the evening of the eighth service I attended, I could not sleep. While the job provided wonderful security, and was in the St. Louis area, I knew that this was not the position for me. This church's heritage and practice was very different from mine. While I know I could have probably adapted to a new tradition, I knew I could not engage on a personal spiritual level. I tossed and turned and did not sleep until I settled on the fact that I could not serve in this position. This is not a criticism of this church, it is a wonderful church, it simply was not a good fit, either for them or me. The position that Kathy and I have accepted is to be the Executive Pastor at Eastside Assembly of God in Tucson, AZ. I will be involved in a lot of church administration, developing ministry areas and helping to oversee an 11 million dollar relocation of the church. God saved this position for me, knowing that it was one that would use all of the experience I have had over the past twenty years. It would also take advantage of my church business administration education and certification.

This new position comes with some downsides. The biggest one is that we will leave children behind in St. Louis. I have been a basket case everytime I think about it, but God will help us. We also need to sell a home in a very difficult real estate market. As you have already read, God has a way of taking care of His business, so we're confident He will take care of this as well. The third downside is that we will be leaving behind some wonderful friends. People who have loved us, stood by us, helped us and have been there when we have needed them. In the final analysis, God did not promise us perfect lives, He did promise, however, to be there for us. His Word is true. I know, because I have lived it for the past year.

Happy Father's Day, Dad

This past March, my father went from this life to his eternal reward in Heaven. Our family and friends celebrated his life, cried together, laughed at special memories and all agreed we were all grateful for his influence in our lives. Two years ago I wrote the following blog. Now that he isn't with us, these words take on even more meaning for me. Enjoy...


Today is Father's Day. Special lunch, cards, gifts, then on to the 4th of July. Sometimes it seems like special days are just interruptions in our daily routine of living life. However, on a day like today, it is good to pause and thank God for our father's and all that they have contributed to our lives.

Most of what my father has taught me has been by example. I learned by observing him living life like it is supposed to be lived, with a little verbal instruction thrown in every once in a while. And, occasionally a little physical instruction that made an impact on my backside as well as in my thinking. I've written before about life lessons that I live out today and have tried to teach my own children. For instance, when my dad taught me how to care for our yard, the last thing you did was sweep the street. That made the yard look finished, and the job complete. Today, I can't mow our lawn and trim without that last step. The greater life lesson was "complete the job, finish the task."

To this day, my 90 year old father looks sharp, hair neat and combed, moustache trimmed. My children always got a kick out of picking my parents up at the airport when they came for a visit because my father always had a shirt and tie and/or a jacket on. They'd ask, "why is grandpa all dressed up?" The life lesson is always look your best, you'll feel better about yourself and people around you will treat you with respect. It just takes a few extra minutes to be the best you can be.

I remember as a child going to an older lady's house nearly every Saturday morning with my dad. He would chop kindling for her wood burning stove. He would make sure she had enough kindling and wood for a week. I never saw him get any pay for that. She wasn't a relative, and to my knowledge, when she passed away, he never received a thank you from any of her relatives. He simply saw a need and filled it. That has been a huge life lesson.

My dad served in WWII, proudly serving his country, and then came home and lived a productive life, raising a family and serving God. I am so thankful for his legacy and teaching. Now for 34 years its been my turn to be a father. Thanks dad for all the instruction, example, and love. Happy Father's Day! I love you.

Here Are Some Random Thoughts

If you regularly read my blog, you may have noticed that I have not written many blogs in 2012. While I have had a lot happen that I could have written about, the past eleven months have been the most unpredictable of my life. Because of that unpredictability, I have been on an emotional and experiential roller coaster that, at times, has dampened my creativity. Here are a few random thoughts that might help you understand where I am at, at this point in my life.

Most men find their self worth in what they do for a living. I am not any different. It has been a daily chore to "rise to the occasion." Most days I succeed, however, some days I don't. For the past several months I have had the opportunity to work with pastors and church volunteers in several Illinois churches. This has been a highlight of my life.

I have been unemployed for eleven months. I have been incredibly disappointed with the reality that my age is the main determining factor for my unemployment. Consider that; 1) in my field, I am at the top of my experience and ability to do the job, 2) I am at the peak of my maturity, 3) I have been a life-long learner and I continue to learn and develop in the areas that I am the best at. While I have had a fair number of interviews, my age has had a subtle way if creeping into the final hiring decision. Our struggling national economy has also created a scenario where churches and non-profit ministries are paying a lot less than they would have five years ago. In at least three cases, I could not support my family and finish raising our children on the salary and benefits that were being offered.

My father passed away on March 17th. For the first couple of weeks, and through his memorial service I did okay. Six weeks later, I'm a basket case. I hope that my grieving this long is okay. My mom spent a week with us a couple of weeks ago. We had a great time, but it took a couple of days for it to finally sink in that my dad wasn't coming to the breakfast table in the morning.

I've come to the realization that we are probably going to have to relocate out of the St. Louis area. I presently have a strong job possibility several states away. We'll know by the end of the first week in June if this is the job. The thought of leaving children behind in St. Louis is almost more than I can bear. On one hand I have been praying that God would put us in the perfect place, on the other, I am a dad that has always wanted to "be there" for my children.

I am convinced, more than ever, that God really does have our best in mind. He really does know everything about us. Since October, we have not had a regular source of income. Since churches are exempt from paying into the state unemployment insurance system, even that "safety net" has been unavailable for us. We have also been paying the entire cost of our health insurance. Through many sources, God has helped us in miraculous ways. While we have dug ourselves into a bit of a hole, we are so much better off than many people in our situation. When this phase of our life is over, I am going to write about some of God's miraculous provision for us. God's love and care for me, and my family amazes me. You will be amazed...

E.T. Is Getting Married

20 winters ago a little foster baby came into our lives. She was born with a number of birth difficulties, including a severe brain bleed. She also came with difficult legal issues and it took 18 months to sort them all out. She had a big forehead and big eyes and Kathy and I nicknamed her E.T. Her birth mom was 14 and a birth father was not identified. Each evening I took on the responsibility of putting Nicole to sleep. Many evenings during that first winter I would light the gas logs in our family room and hold her, pray over her, talk to her, and generally have a wonderful time with this "little lady". She would snuggle into my arms and get comfortable. I don't know who enjoyed this time more, her or me. More than once I agonized over the fact that she didn't have a birth daddy that knew about her, or cared. One night, as I was praying over her, I felt the distinct impression in my mind that when I prayed words like "be a daddy to Nicole because she doesn't have one", the Holy Spirit whispered to me, "you are her daddy, just like I am your daddy". That was significant to me for a couple of reasons. One, it helped me understand that for the moment, I was indeed being a dad to Nicole and she was safe and secure in our home, and second, I needed the reinforcement that God was allowing me to see Him in a more intimate and personal way. I have always struggled with my image of God. Most times He was a distant God, able to do all that His word told me, and interested in me, but from a distance. I always felt like I was part of huge crowd in His presence. That evening, in the warmth of a fire warmed winter night, God became Daddy to me. I felt like He was there with just Nicole and I, letting us know just how much he loved us and cared for us. That memory will be one that will always be a highlight.

For some reason, babies grow up. We have really enjoyed watching Nicole grow. She has become a delightful young lady. Several weeks ago, her boyfriend and I had a private chat that confirmed what Kathy and I had been feeling for some time. On Easter Sunday, Nicole showed us a beautiful engagement ring and she and Nick announced that she had accepted his proposal for marriage. Since then, this daddy's emotions have run the gamut from being very happy, to the sadness of picturing our home without Nicole. I have already shed plenty of tears, both happy and sad, with more to come, I'm sure, as the fall date gets closer. We have been blessed to raise E.T. I have been proud to be her daddy.

Resurrection - Breaking Bonds

The Easter season impacts us differently, depending on where we are in life, and what our present circumstances might be. For instance, last night, the last scripture that was read as we left the Good Friday service at St. John Lutheran was, And regarding the question, friends, that has come up about what happens to those already dead and buried, we don't want you in the dark any longer. First off, you must not carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word. Since Jesus died and broke loose from the grave, God will most certainly bring back to life those who died in Jesus. (from THE MESSAGE) I know this passage well, and normally would have enjoyed hearing it, but it wouldn't have affected me anymore than any other Bible passage. However, since my father went to Heaven on March 17th, twenty days later, this verse really had an emotional effect on me. The takeaway moment for me, was my renewed faith that I will see him again in Heaven. Tears of sadness mingled with tears of joy.

For many people, Easter Sunday will be their obligatory church attendance day. Perhaps they are feeling pressure from a parent, or spouse, or a child. Others will be in church, like they normally are, but preoccupied with with life events surrounding their jobs, or families or other things that prevent them from fully appreciating the tremendous hope we have in Christ's resurrection. Others will be there who are struggling with the power and bondage of something that they cannot deal with. Even though these people have heard the sermons and read the scriptures about God's complete forgiveness and unmerited favor, they cannot break free of the bondage they feel. I love a verse of the wonderful Charles Wesley hymn, O For A Thousand Tongues, that says,
           He breaks the power of canceled sin,
           He sets the prisoner free;
           His blood can make the foulest clean,
           His blood availed for me.

I pray that tomorrow, during the illustrated sermons, special music, drama, and other Easter special features, that the Resurrected Christ, who Himself was bound in grave clothes and set free by the power of the Resurrection, will have the opportunity to birth freedom and new life into many people who have come to their church services under crippling bondage. I pray that people who have confessed their sin hundreds of times, only to return to it again and again, will pray their final confession and leave the sanctuary a free person, with their bonds left behind to remind Satan that he is the loser. 

The early church would greet each other with the words He Is Risen, and the other person would respond, He Is Risen, Indeed. My Christ, indeed, be risen in the lives of many people tomorrow.

92 + 1 = Pricless

Yesterday, we had a grand celebration of my father's life. With pictures, songs, prayers and shared memories, we thanked God for his life and influence on us all. Today, we'll celebrate the 1st birthday of his newest great-granddaughter, Norah Grace Peter. And so, the cycle of life goes on. Sixty five years ago, Two people who fell in love, got married, and begin a cycle of life that resulted in a room full of people sharing the goodness of God, embodied in one of his creations. Today, that cycle continues, because in a few years, this beautiful 1 year old will fall in love, and the cycle will begin all over again.

My dad loved talking about heaven. While he was very "down to earth," he was also very "heavenly minded." As some of us were talking yesterday, we talked about the reunions that have already taken place. Undoubtedly, my dad has spent time with his mother, and step-father (who raised him), and his birth dad who passed away when my dad was two years old. He has probably been introduced to their parents and grandparents, uncles and aunts, and many other people who are there. Sometime during the past few days, I think my dad felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked down into five little faces that he had never seen before. Two of these are grandchildren that were miscarried by my sister, Lori, and my wife, Kathy. A few years ago Kathy was directing our choir, singing a song about heaven. During a solo section, she closed her eyes and saw a quick vision of her grandmother walking toward her, hand-in-hand with a three or four year old red headed little girl. Kathy knew she was seeing the daughter we never had the chance to meet. The other three children tugging at Papa's sleeve are great-grandchildren, twins that our daughter Aimee lost a couple of years ago, and a baby that our son Jason and his wife, Jennie, miscarried. What fun they must have had at that first reunion.

The Bible tells us that we will know each other in Heaven.What wonderful reunions we will have. I know that Jesus will take great delight in watching us spend time together, and then all of us spending time in His presence, as we worship and thank Him for "preparing us a place." Later today, we'll celebrate a 1st birthday, we'll laugh and enjoy Norah destroy her cake, and we'll thank God again for my father. Sometime during the day I will probably shed some more tears, but it will be okay, because I'll also think about that little red head who's probably walking hand-in-hand with her Papa. 

Waiting...

We have all waited. Waited in lines, in traffic, on the phone, for people, waiting. I still remember the last few days of waiting before our first child was born. As first time parents, we had prepared ourselves with Lamaze classes, and faithfully reading all the literature our doctor had suggested, but waiting was the hard part. Jason was born on his due date, so we didn't have to wait too long.

Today, is another waiting day. My 92 year old father has struggled with congestive heart failure for quite awhile. Like many people with congestive heart failure, he has had low moments when we thought the end was near, and then he would rally and have some great weeks and months. In the past week or so, he has begun a downward spiral that his hospice nurses tell us he probably will not recover from. For the past several days, since I've know about his current condition, I have spent hours praying and thinking about my parents, my siblings and our families. So many wonderful memories have come flooding into my mind as I've thought about our growing up days in San Jose, the summers our older children spent with their grandparents in the San Joaquin valley, and these past years in Ohio and North Carolina. I've thought about the character that was formed in me as I observed my dad. The core values that I hold dear because of his influence, the little things he demonstrated to me that are inseparable from my character. Lots of wonderful thoughts. Waiting thoughts.

But now we're waiting. Should we travel to North Carolina now, should we wait? What about his waiting? What is going through his mind? I'm sure he's had multiple conversations about this with his Savior. My dad has always been a student of the End Times, and because of it you could tell he had a tremendous sense of anticipation of being in Heaven. And now he's waiting. We're waiting.

Before long, my father will start another kind of waiting. He'll be in Heaven, spending time with his mother and father, and other relatives that have gone before him. And he'll be waiting for us. Waiting with a big smile on his face, completely healed, thoroughly enjoying his surroundings, and waiting...

My Favorite Season Of the Year

Last week I was forced to work in my yard. We had very forceful wind gusts come through St. Louis and one of those gusts knocked over a 40' tree in our backyard. The tree was nearly dead, and I had already decided that it needed to come down sometime this summer. I borrowed a saw and Sam and I cut the tree up, stacked all the wood, and cleaned up the area where the tree had fallen. When I was finished with the tree, I decided to do other spring cleanup. I cut down last year decorative grass stalks, pruned rose bushes and trimmed other plants we have in our back yard.

We all do the annual ritual of clearing away the dead stalks of plants that had their moment of glory and now give way to a new season. Pulling here, pruning there, deciding what to keep and what needs to go. Trying not to prune too much, but making sure each plant and tree will fill out nicely and thinking about new plants to purchase when the time comes.

The one thing I love about this time of year, and the thing that kept distracting me yesterday, was looking at all the bits of green. I love seeing nature wake up. Tiny buds that are just starting to open. Looking at Bradford Pear and Dogwood buds. Right now they are just tiny little balls, waiting for the right time to explode into color. I was even on my roof sweeping off the last of winter debris and saw the first Redbud blossoms about to burst open. I pulled last years dead plants away from all the daffodils and crocus plants, saw the first of those blooms and took a look at my rose bushes. In fact, the picture in the top right corner of this blog are some of the first daffodils of the season. Tiny bits of red and green where beautiful leaves will grow in a few weeks.

I was sore from moving wood and bending over to trim and prune, but my spirit was rejuvenated. Spring has a way of doing that. New life has a way creating a freshness that is renewing. Soon it will be the first day of Spring. This year God has been doing some trimming and pruning in my life, getting me ready for a new season. Thank you, God, for your care for us, and a wonderful reminder of Your life, in us.

The Bottomless Jar of Flour

Yesterday marked exactly nine months since Kathy and I started on a journey of unemployment. Never, in my most "worst case scenario" thoughts, did I think I would not have a job by now. The combination of the overall poor economy, churches operating conservatively, my age and general uncertainty, have combined to put us in this "never before in our lives" situation. Last week I was talking with a mortgage re-adjustment specialist and we were going over my income for the past months. Since I didn't have much to put down, he asked how much  unemployment pay I was getting. When I told him that the church I worked for did not pay into the unemployment pool, he was amazed that we had not applied for a mortgage re-adjustment sooner. It was great to talk with this man who interviews people all day long with horrendous financial situations, and tell him how, and Whom, was taking care of us.

I must admit, though, that I have had some very difficult days, mixed in with a some great days and a lot of just regular living. Leading up to my birthday last Friday, I was having a difficult Thursday. Early in this process, I had set a threshold that I did not want our savings to go under. In mid January, we got to that threshold. Miraculously, after all the bills, our missions giving, and living expenses were taken care of, we didn't cross the boundary I had set. February started the same way, and again, by the time February was over, we had gotten close, but our savings account was still a little above the line I determined I didn't want it to go under. I have begun to feel a little like the women in First Kings 17. She was out collecting a little firewood to bake a small loaf of bread for she and her son so they could eat it and lay down and die of starvation. Elijah says to her, "Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small cake of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord gives rain on the land.'" (Early on, Kathy and I decided that we would continue our missions giving, even if it meant giving something else up that was important, but not as urgent) She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the Lord spoken by Elijah. 

Back to Thursday...so here I was, on one hand rejoicing because of God's faithfulness and feeling like this woman in First Kings, and then at the same time feeling a little panicky because we had a new month, and we had to do it all over again. When I brought in the mail, in among the advertisements, junk mail and a couple of bills, was a card from two of our wonderful friends. Inside the card was a check labeled "Ash Wednesday Offering." It was for an amount that would carry us through half of March! As I held the card, and the check, it felt like my hands were covered in flour and oil. I can imagine Elijah, with a "isn't this fun" look on his face, nodding his approval at God's provision for us. If you are desperate for God's provision, maybe you ought to look in your flour jar...

Christ In the Storm

A few years ago I was introduced to the Henri Nouwen book, The Return Of the Prodigal Son. The book was a wonderful study of the scriptural story of the prodigal son, his father and brother, and some great applications to our lives. I was so struck by the cover art, also titled Return Of the Prodigal Son, by Rembrandt, that I purchased a print, had it framed and hung it in my office. I have re-read the book many times.

Yesterday I downloaded an iPad app titled Rembrandt Paintings. On the cover was a painting that captured me just like The Return Of the Prodigal Son had several years ago. It depicts the terror of the disciples as some of them try and get the boat under control. It also shows the moment that other disciples wake Christ up from a nap and say to Him, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" (Matthew 8:24-25) From the punctuation marks, you can tell this was not a soft and gentle wake-up conversation. I suspect they woke Christ up with their yelling for Him to save them. In verse 26, Matthew records,  He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!" 


I suppose this painting made such an impact on me because right now I could be one of those disciples yelling "Lord, save me! I'm going to drown!" The answer, however, is in verse 28, When he (they) arrived at the other side... For you, the wind may be howling, the waves may be crashing, and the situation may seem totally out of your control. The same Christ that calmed the sea in Matthew's account, is the same Christ who will see you to the other side. Let's meet up there and compare notes.

An Interesting Job Interview

Last Wednesday I had a "first" in job interviews. I met via Skype with a search committee at a church in southern California. In the past few months I have had several telephone interviews, some of those were on a speaker phone. The farther away a person was sitting from the speaker phone source, the harder it was to hear questions or comments. The Skype interview was great because I could see each committee member and hear them all well. The hour flew by... Now we'll wait and see if the process continues.

Today I had an in-person interview at a large St. Louis compassion ministry. Obviously, those are the best. I had already spent 90 on the phone with someone from this ministry a couple of weeks ago. This interview came as a result of that phone interview that went very well. Again, the hour flew by. I think it was a very good interview. I guess I'll know for sure if it was in a few days.

As I was driving home from today's interview, I was reminded of the most unusual job interview I ever had. Kathy and I had been invited to First Assembly in Grand Junction, Colorado to visit for a few days. I spent some rehearsal time with the choir, prepared music for the Sunday services, and met with various groups and people. On one of those evenings we were invited to the home of one of the board members. This couple had built a gorgeous home right next to the National Monument. The Colorado National Monument preserves one of the grand landscapes of the American West. It has towering monoliths that exist within a vast plateau-and-canyon panorama. It has sheer-walled, red rock canyons that were visible from the back yard of the house we were at. Two other deacons and their wives came over and we had dinner together. After dinner, the three deacons and I put on swimming suits, I had to borrow one, and we all jumped in the outdoor hot tub while the ladies visited inside the house. The landscape was spectacular and the stars were amazing. For about an hour I was asked all kinds of questions, and I was able to ask questions as well. When we were done, (both done talking and shriveled as prunes), one of the deacons said, "well, as far as I'm concerned, you are hired." Two of these deacons told Kathy and I that if we would come to be the ministers of music, they would bring us coffee shop coffee every Sunday morning. (for 4 1/2 years, almost every Sunday morning we had hot coffee from a local coffee shop) While it was the pastor who extended the invitation to join the staff after Sunday services were done, I think the "deal was sealed" in the hot tub.

Even though I haven't had any hot tub interviews this time around, it has been a real adventure as I've met so many nice people, answered a lot of questions, and told my story many times. Maybe the next interview will be in a hot air balloon... :)

All Because Two People Fell In Love

Kathy has a plaque hanging in our kitchen that says "All because two people fell in love..." This morning as I was praying, and pacing back and forth in our living room, I looked at several framed photos that we have on top of our piano. I have seen these photos hundreds of time, but this time I was overwhelmed with a tremendous sense of gratitude and thankfulness, to God, for the people in those photos. The groupings in the photos are of each of our married children, their spouses, and children. One son a university professor, another son a missionary in Europe and a daughter who is a children's pastor in Oregon. Each of them finding the perfect life-mate that God had set aside for them. In each case, their spouses complementing and helping each of our children achieve all that God has designed for them. I'm not sure there are seven more talented, intelligent and cuter grand kids in the world. If there are, I haven't seen them. When you add our three adopted children that we are still raising, there are eighteen of us.

Kathy and I have a running joke between us. Before we were married, we discussed the number of children we would like to have. I wanted two, she wanted four, so we comprised at six. :) I'm not totally sure how that happened, but this morning, as I thanked God for so many blessings He has granted us in our marriage, I was overwhelmed at these sixteen blessings that I saw in front of me. Parents, you know that raising children is not easy. There are many challenges, heartbreaks and disappointments. But there are great high points in celebrating achievements and successes. Overriding all of our experience in raising children is the tremendous love that God puts in our hearts for them. We have been raising children for thirty six years. I'm not sure we'll ever have an empty nest...but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything else. So today, I am an especially thankful, and blessed, father and husband...all because two people fell in love.

Two Significant Birthdays

Within four days of each other, two of our children have birthdays. On January 21st, our oldest son Jason had a birthday. I can't imagine a another father being prouder of a child than I am of Jason. Of all of our children, he was the planner, and determined to reach his goals. From ninth grade on, he knew he wanted to attend Evangel University, major in music and orchestrate music for live and recorded sessions. Today he is an Assistant Professor of Music at Evangel University. He has been instrumental in expanding the music technology and music industry sections of the Music Department. He has written countless orchestrations for many churches, civic orchestras, recording sessions and more. The idea of hearing the music in his head, and then being able to display it on a computer and then print all the parts for an orchestra, boggle my mind. I love hearing the music he has worked on. If he stays on his goal schedule, Jason will begin working on a doctorate this coming fall. The family side of life makes me just as proud. He is a wonderful husband and father. He and Jennie have done a wonderful job of raising their two sons. Both of them excel in different areas. Two years ago, Jason and Jennie began the adoption process to adopt a Haitian orphan who was very ill. Today, Josie is a bubbly, full-of-energy, bundle of excitement, and very healthy. Jason, Jennie and their boys have loved this little girl into health and vitality. The compassion and care of disadvantaged children that Jason saw in his own home as he grew up obviously translated into he and Jennie's decision to follow James 1:27, The Christian who is pure and without fault, from God the Father's point of view, is the one who takes care of orphans... Happy birthday, Jason.

Today is Nicole's 20th birthday. It is hard to imagine that my little girl is all grown up. The memories of her as an 18 month old, playing "chase me" with me are as vivid today as they were 18 years ago. Every Friday we would dress her "to the nines", complete with her fuzzy white coat and take her to the county's social services division so she could visit with her birth grandmother. At the end of the visit, Kathy would usually spend a few minutes talking with Nicole's social worker, and I would take Nicole out in the hall to burn off some energy. For some reason, today she won't play "chase me" anymore. :) I agonized over this child because she had no father. Many nights I would feed her a bottle and put her to sleep, praying over her, and her future. After her grandmother had exhausted all the possible relatives that Nicole could have gone to, we began the adoption process. For you see, by 18 months, she was already embedded far too deeply in our hearts to let her go back into the foster care system. Today she has blossomed into a wonderful young lady. Her photography hobby has evolved into a small photography business, she is working and paying off her car, and learning the life skills that will make her a wonderful wife and mother. Near the end of the adoption process, we had a session with a doctor who discussed with us all of the possible health problems that Nicole could have. She was born a preemie to a 14 year old mother. She had a severe brain bleed at birth. The disclaimers went on and on, enough to scare anyone away from taking responsibility for her. Today she is healthy, beautiful, and is smart and intelligent. None of the "possibilities", ever came to pass. I believe God helped Kathy and I to love her to health, and God has blessed her with His presence for His purpose. Happy birthday, Nicole.

It's Really All About People

I spent the last week in northern Illinois, helping the Illinois District of the Assemblies of God, install new software and train church users. While I have never served in an Illinois church, I have always admired this district, and the cutting edge ministry they bring to their churches and ministers. In this case, they are trying to give their district supervised churches better tools to do the best job possible in their communities.

Generally, a district supervised church is a smaller church that needs help in organization, funding, governing leadership and other elements. Once a church has become healthy in all the major areas, it transitions to being a self supporting autonomous church. The idea in Illinois is that if you give as much help as possible to the district supervised churches and pastors, you build strong churches in each of the communities that you are trying to reach.

Both communities I worked in last week were rural, and small. The first town was small enough that it did not have a single chain business of any kind. That included fast food restaurants, drug stores, grocery stores, etc. However, the church we were working in has more than 300 people worshiping there today, nearly 10% of the population of their town. The other small city we worked in was a little larger, with a smaller church. The pastor is bi-vocational and they do not have any paid staff. Everything is done by volunteers. The infectious enthusiasm I sensed there was refreshing. Each person that came for training was excited about the new tools. While our job was to install and train on a software system, I could see that each volunteer saw this as a better way to reach their own people and reach out to their community. When we talked about a "person record", the trainees saw that person as a "real person". It was fun to hear them talk about their various groups and ministries and how this new tool would help add people to them.

As a church administrator, sometimes the job can break down to software, numbers, buildings, supplies, and systems. I was reminded this week that it is all about people. Telling people that Jesus can change their life, and then demonstrating that by the way we live. I'll be doing some more of these installations. I can't wait to meet the people.

Another Employment Update

It has been awhile since I have updated my blog readers on the status of my journey towards a new job. Since my last update, Christmas has come and gone. Today we will finish putting away the last of our Christmas decorations and our tree goes to the recycle pile. Since we traveled to Colorado Springs for the Christmas holiday, we did not decorate our house as much as we normally do. Sadly, some of my favorite nativity scenes were packed in my office "stuff" boxes in our storage unit, so they didn't get to be enjoyed this year. Not having an income changed the way we did most things, but it also reinforced the joy of being with family and enjoying those moments far more than the commercial part of the season. I really missed not being part of a Christmas production, but I was blessed to attend several in our area and in the Springfield, MO area. I read more Christmas stories and writings this year than ever before, and all-in-all, we had a wonderful celebration. As you might imagine, however, all church hiring activity stops from Thanksgiving through the New Year, so there wasn't much activity on that front.

I am waiting to hear on a couple of possible positions, I have recently applied for a couple of others, as well. Kathy and I are trying as hard as we can to hear from God. We are confident in His love and care for us, and know that He knows exactly where we are. We also know, however, that 20 million Americans are out of work. Many of those are devoted Christians, trying to trust God just as much as we are. We also hear the sad stories of homes lost, bankruptcies, financial devastation and family unrest as people try and cope with this very difficult time in our country's history. We had our house on the market, but after 6 months we took it off the market and have decided to wait until spring to try and sell it again.

So where are we? We have had and continue to have some tremendous prayer and emotional support from our families and great friends. We have had just-in-time financial support that has helped us stay current with our financial obligations. We are using our savings, but at a slower "clip" than we expected. Our faith in God's provision for us is at an all time high and we are confident that God's open door for us will be revealed soon. Thank God we are not in this alone. Blessings for a New Year...

Another Year Is Dawning

I meant to post this blog yesterday, but ran out of time. One of my favorite hymn lyrics writers is Frances Ridley Havergal. If you look through a hymnal, you will will find several of her hymns included. My all time favorite Havergal hymn is Take My Life And Let It Be.

Frances wrote several hymns for the new year. This one, titled Another Year Is Dawning, was written on December 31, 1874 for the new year of 1875.

   Another year is dawning, dear Father, let it be. 
   In working or in waiting, another year with Thee.
   Another year of progress, another year of praise, 
   Another year of proving Thy presence all the days.


   Another year of mercies, of faithfulness and grace, 
   Another year of gladness in the shining of Thy face.
   Another year of leaning upon Thy loving breast; 
   Another year of trusting, of quiet, happy rest.


   Another year of service, of witness for Thy love, 
   Another year of training for holier work above.
   Another year is dawning, dear father, let it be. 
   On earth, or else in Haven, another year for Thee.


Another year to see the great hand of God at work in our lives as we demonstrate who He is to a needy and desperate world.