Looking For A Job In the Summer of 2011 - Update

I started the process of looking for a new ministry job at the end of May. It is now near the end of August, 3 months later. Here is what I am finding out; there are a lot of people looking for work, there are a lot of people looking for ministry jobs, the average professional job seeker takes between 33 and 104 weeks to start working again. I spoke with a pastor in a medium sized church a couple of weeks ago. He is filling two pastoral positions. He told me he was overwhelmed by the number of resumes he had received. He said the last time he had to fill a position, pre-2008, he only got 5-6 resumes and since only 2 were qualified, it was easy to fill the position. While he didn't tell me how many resumes he had received for the position I was looking at, I could tell he was nearly paralyzed by the stacks of applications and resumes. One music position at a larger Iowa church generated 100 resumes. A Birmingham, AL church looking for a church administrator received over 70 resumes.  While we are all aware of the very difficult national economy, unemployment rate and housing market, it really hits home when you are trying to find a job and sell a house.

The good news is that God knows what is happening, His word is still true, and people are getting hired. I have several situations that I'm waiting on, and I'm optimistic that very soon I'll be "back in the saddle." A friend gave me a booklet written by a friend of his when he was unemployed. He wrote "God has already identified my next job, my assignment is to find it." I firmly believe that God has picked our our next ministry position and He will help us find it.

For our friends that have shared a meal with us, written cards, called and emailed, thanks so much for your support. Thanks for your prayers for us. Please keep holding us up in prayer. We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary — we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! Rom 5:3-5 the Message

Spirit of God, Descend Upon My Heart

I have been reading Near To the Heart of God, Meditations on 366 Best-Loved Hymns this year along with my daily Bible study. Today's hymn, Spirit of God, Descend Upon My Heart really jumped out at me.

It was written by George Croly, an Irishman who was asked in 1835 to reopen a church that had been closed for 100 years. It was in the heart of the London slums, but his powerful preaching attracted large crowds. He prepared a fresh hymnal for the church and he included this hymn he had written.

   Spirit of God, descend upon my heart; wean it from earth; through all its pulses move;
   Stoop to my weakness, mighty as Thou art; and make me love Thee as I ought to love.


   I ask no dream, no prophet ecstasies, no sudden rending of the veil of clay,
   No angel visitant, no opening skies; but take the dimness of my soul away.


   Teach me to feel that Thou art always nigh; teach me the struggles of the soul to bear.
   To check the rising doubt, the rebel sigh, teach me the patience of unanswered prayer.


   Teach me to love Thee as Thine angels love, one holy passion filling all my frame;
   The kindling of the heaven descended Dove, my heart an altar, and Thy love the flame.

Read each verse slowly, meditating on each one. This is a wonderful prayer of submission to the will of God.

Today Is Our Anniversary - Best Years of My Life

Today Kathy and I are celebrating 37 wonderful years of marriage. The big event on the weekend of our wedding 37 years ago was the resignation of President Richard Nixon on our rehearsal evening and then his leaving the White House with his family on the day of our wedding. There are a lot of highlights that are vivid memories, but there is also a lot of time in which I do not recollect much. This kind of reminds of the story of the two retired guys who are talking and one says to the other, "I couldn't help but notice that you call your wife 'sweety', 'baby doll', 'sugar', and other romantic names. How have you kept that much romance in your marriage all these years? The other guy turns to him and says, 'actually, I forgot her name about 10 years ago and I've been too embarrassed to ask her what it is."

Well, for us, it's not that bad. We have many wonderful memories that we recall. We've been so blessed. One of the biggest blessings has been our unified desire to serve God full time, anywhere, anytime. We've had some great adventures, and both of us have seen our experiences as adventures in helping to build God's kingdoms. We've had the blessing of raising six children, three birth children that are now grown and all involved in full time ministry, and three teenagers still at home that bring both great joy and present interesting challenges. We look back at some great ministry successes and people that we've had the pleasure of mentoring and guiding into successful ministry and other careers. Today we have an interesting predicament, looking for a job and trying to sell a house in an economic climate that is creating financial havoc in our nation. However, God is faithful, He will provide.

As I think about today, the greatest blessing for me is the love that Kathy and I share. I love her so much. She is my best friend and confidant. I love her laugh, and the way she brightens up a room. Of the two of us, she is the "people person" and I enjoy watching her be with people. I love the fact that after we've been with a group of people I get to go home with her. 37 years is a lot, particularly in our present society, but for us it is another signpost on a lifetime commitment that we agreed to 37 years ago. Now we're older, hopefully wiser, and ready for the next adventure, whatever or wherever it may be, together.

Our Universe Never Ceases To Amaze Me

Last week I watched a Discovery Channel documentary on the 400 years of the telescope. It was a very interesting progression from a simple spyglass with limited range to the current telescope technology that will replace the Hubbel telescope. The pictures of our galaxy and well out into our universe were amazing. The knowledge of how stars are born, the rapidly expanding universe and our relative size in our universe were just a few of the topics covered. I was amazed again at our Creator's work.

The documentary's narrator mentioned more than once how much we cannot see and speculated on how much more there was out beyond what our technology could reach. This reminded me of how big our Creator must be. Psalm 147:4 says He determines how many stars there are and calls them all by name. In Psalm 33:6 it says, He merely spoke, and the heavens were formed and all the galaxies of stars. In another place in scripture it says that He spreads the stars as a canopy over His throne. I can't even imagine how big God must be to be able to do this. Plus, the universe is expanding at a rapid rate. Does this mean He is still creating, and the universe is expanding to allow room for all His new creation?

I am thankful for one huge thing. In this documentary, they showed earth as a large planet and then began to pull away to show how vast just our galaxy is, and then continued to pull away beyond the Milky Way. Of course, Earth, had long disappeared from sight. So, I am thankful that the God who created this incredible universe, knows where I live on this tiny planet. He cares about me, loves me and knows exactly what I need. And in return, He allows me to know Him. Incredible...

These Layoffs Helped the Country

In 2nd Kings and 2nd Chronicles there is an account of the nation of Judah returning to Jehovah God. King Josiah directs that the temple should be repaired. In the process of starting the renovation, Hilkiah, the priest, finds the Book of the Law. While the Biblical account doesn't say that the priest reads some or all of the book, the implication is that they are so stunned by what is written there that they immediately take the Book of the Law to the king. In 2nd Kings 22, the book is read to king Josiah. He is so distressed by what he hears that the scripture says he tore his robes. Eventually the king has the book read to all the people.

In chapter 23 there is an account of the sweeping reforms that the king makes as he brings the people out of generations of idolatry and back to God. With my current mindset of looking for a job, as I read these passages, the idea of layoffs came to mind. First he did away with the pagan priests, he tore down the living quarters of the male shrine prostitutes (and put them out of business), and he put the women weavers out of business. (they weaved material for the idol Asherah) Josiah put the priests out of business that burned incense, fired the staff of the idol gates at the entrances to the cities and then he fired all the mediums and spiritists in the land. As I thought about this account, when you consider that this was nation wide, it meant that at the least many hundreds lost their jobs and actually it was probably thousands.

The end result of this massive layoff was a revival in Judah. Chapter 23 of 2 Kings has the account of the celebration of Passover in Jerusalem. Probably the first time in at least 200 years, and Passover had not been celebrated this way since the days of the prophet Samuel.

Our country is possibly on the brink of financial disaster, as is most of the world. A financial collapse in the U.S. would have wide reaching repercussions in the rest of the world financial markets. We truly need a return to Jehovah God in our country. In the midst of widespread fear and anxiety, we have an answer that we must find a way to communicate to a needy country. We must offer spiritual and Biblical answers to the present environment of uncertainty. Layoffs can be good...particularly when it drives us back to God.

Looking For A Job In the Summer of 2011

This is my first blog post since June 29th. Kathy and I have been very busy getting our home ready to sell. We finally finished all the big items a week ago and this is the first week our house has been listed with a realtor. Finally some breathing room. If you are interested in seeing pictures and all the details, go to www.realtor.com and do a search on 433 Melanie Meadows Lane, Ballwin, MO 63021.

I sent my first resume at the end of May. To date I have sent 49 resumes, mostly to churches and ministries looking for a Church Administrator. I have another church to send a resume to tomorrow, so it will be an even 50. Here are some things I have learned over the past two months.

1) It is going to be difficult to be a full time Minister of Music/Worship Pastor again. No one is looking for anyone that isn't 40 or younger. I friend of mine who helps churches find senior pastors and staff pastors was kind enough to tell me in a recent face-to-face conversation, "forget about music, concentrate on Church Administration. However, the right church and right situation are not out of the question. If God has picked a place for me to be a MofM, I'm ready.

2) There are a lot of former church pastors and support staff members looking for positions. 3 years ago a church would get 4-5 resumes and applications for open positions. I have talked with several pastors and staff members where I have submitted a resume to find that churches are receiving 15 or more resumes for smaller churches, (300 in attendance and under) and up to 100 resumes for larger churches.

3) It is taking church employees anywhere from 6 months to 2 years to get settled in a new position. Younger people are on the shorter side, older people are on the longer end. Unfortunately, I'm on the older end. (We're also trying to sell our house in the worst housing market since the 20s)

4) Salaries are lower than 3 years ago. While churches are filling positions for staff they really need, they are very conservative in salary and benefits spending.

I have had periods of real anxiety, bordering on panic. We have 3 teenagers at home and from our experience with our first set of teenagers, we are in the most expensive part of their lives. 3 teenage drivers is a killer for auto insurance, for instance. However, here are some positive things I have experienced;

I can't tell you how many times my devotional Bible reading for the day has had incredibly encouraging words right from Scripture. Our friends have been very encouraging, and we have had lunches and dinners with many of them. We have friends going to church with us, and all the cards and phone calls have been great. I believe that God has assured me that He knows exactly where we are at, what we need and there is a divine plan in place. We aren't too picky about where we live or what denomination we work in. Our only real desire is to know what we are doing before our high school students need to start school.

So what is the bottom line? Jeremiah 29:11-12 I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out — plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. (the Message)

If you think about it, breathe a prayer for us. I promise I'll blog more often and let you know what is happening. Okay, time to work on number 50.

Your House Never Looks Better Than When You're Trying to Sell It

Why is it that everything we ever wanted to do to our houses gets done when you are trying to sell it? For instance, I've had several yard projects that I wanted to do over the next couple of years. Guess what, they're getting done in the next few days. Today, Shawn, his friend Cruz and I loaded up a full trailer load of old wood, an old rabbit hutch, yard debris, old landscaping stuff, plus "treasures" from our basement and took it all to the dump. Our backyard and basement sure look good.

Both of our boys wanted dark paint in their rooms. Sam's is camouflage and Shawn's is Bronco orange and blue. Our realtor said we  should probably lighten the rooms, so today I painted one of the rooms with a High Hiding Primer-Ideal For Drastic Color Changes-Low Odor-Covers in One Coat-Dries in 30 Minutes. Well, at least it dried in 30 minutes. Tomorrow morning I'll roll all the spots that it didn't cover and tonight the window is open because the paint smell will knock you over.

Oh, by the way, we ordered new carpet for the basement. We would have never done that for ourselves, but, your house never looks better than when you're trying to sell it. Tomorrow I leave for the annual National Association of Church Business Administration conference. I know I'll enjoy it, and I particularly enjoy being with many other administrators that I know. But, I'll also be thinking about all the things I need to do when I get home. I would never get all this done if I was working. :)

Today I Will Make A Difference

In 1985, Max Lucado, one of my favorite authors, wrote a book titled On the Anvil. Here is a short excerpt from the chapter Today I Will Make A Difference.

Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines, and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.

I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink each minute as though it is my last. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.

Each day for me is a combination of getting our house ready to sell and checking in with my contacts and resources to find a job. I could spend time replaying all the scenarios that led up to my being dismissed, and mentally think of ways to correct misinformation, but God has given me a tremendous peace about our future. He will take care of every situation and He will bless Kathy and I for not looking backwards, but trusting Him forward. I will make a difference because each person I come in contact with will see a positive outlook and a loving and caring attitude. I have noticed that in the past two weeks, (I have not worked for two weeks), I am driving differently (more courteously), I have more time to help people, my blood pressure and pulse rate are down several points, I'm sleeping better and I have lost 10 pounds. I suppose I could be in a panic and want some kind of revenge for the predicament we're in, but I have chosen a much higher road. You can make a difference today. Let God help you, He will.

Some Thoughts On Jonah

One day this week my read-the-Bible-through-in-a-year reading was the book of Jonah. I've read this story many times, but this day I read Jonah's prayer in chapter 2 over and over. I stopped and meditated on his predicament. One thing that struck me was how calm this prayer seems. Now, I know that Jonah didn't write this book as the events unfolded, but nevertheless, he seems pretty calm. He begins by saying, "In my distress I called to the Lord," you think?! If it were me, it would read, "In my distress I pounded on the fish's insides with my fists, kicked as hard I could and yelled at God to save me at the top of my lungs." Later on Jonah writes, "When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord." Do you think Jonah lost consciousness while he was in the water? Can you imagine the terror he must have felt as he tried to tread water in the midst of a huge storm and big waves? I had an experience in Southern California while body surfing The Wedge, a well known, big wave area of Newport Beach. The waves were so big that day that it took everything in you to get out beyond the break to catch a wave. I remember the first, and only wave that day, because it ground me into the sand as it broke. It was so big that it held me on the bottom until I couldn't tell which way was up. By the time I was able to get out of the water, I really thought I wasn't going to make it. I can't imagine Jonah's experience.

One more interesting thought. Seaweed can really get you. Because I was raised on the West Coast, we went to the beach quite a bit. At times there was a lot of seaweed in the water and it would wrap itself around your arms or around your legs, and the moment it touched you, you knew that a shark had just chomped down on your arm or leg. The relief that it was just seaweed gave way to a moment of agitation as you threw the seaweed as far as you could away from you. Jonah says, "seaweed was wrapped around my head." Can you imagine poor Jonah, seaweed around his head, pounding on the insides of the fish, crying out to God.

Jonah's prayer ends with "What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord." So what is the application for us? Our vow is to live our lives according to God's Word. To love Him, worship Him and live so a watching world will know that we have a special relationship with Him. If you feel like Jonah today, vow to live like God wants you to. Then remember Jonah's words, "Salvation comes from the Lord." He will save you. His promises are true.

The Power Of the Lord

This morning, as I was reading my daily through-the-Bible-in-a-year pages, a story that I have read many times leaped out at me. It starts in 1 Kings 18:46. Elijah had just seen the power of God demonstrated on Mt. Carmel as a confrontation between the god Baal and the one true God, and it resulted in a powerful manifestation of God's power. After that, clouds begin to form and the multi-year drought comes to an end. The story continues: The power of the Lord came upon Elijah and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.

Here are some things to consider about this; remember that there are no paved roads and they were descending Mount Carmel so the road was winding and rocky. Second, it was customary for kings to have runners go before them. Third, Elijah was from Gilead (East of the Jordan River, South of the Jabbok River, North-east of the Dead Sea), where Bedouins lived. Bedouins were famous for their running ability, much like the Ethiopians are for producing world-class Marathon runners. The distance from Mount Carmel to Jezreel was about seventeen miles, about 9 miles short of a marathon. So the run was quite a feat no matter the pace or training!

So you are saying, "and....". Well the and is, the power of the Lord came upon Elijah, and regardless of his background and even perhaps his training, God helped him do a supernatural feat. Do you need for God to help you perform a supernatural feat? Have you ever had the power of God come upon you in a powerful way? I can tell you right now that I need for the power of God to come on me. I have several feats that need to be done in the next few days. We need to prepare our house and yard for sale, we need to begin processing all the things that need to happen when you relocate, and I need for God to present the exact right open door. What is your need? Take a moment right now and ask God for His power to come upon you to help you do something that you know you cannot do in your own power. When is happens, leave me a comment. Blessings...

Leaving the Church I've Served For Nine Years

I have served at the Minister of Music and Administrative Pastor at West County Assembly of God for the past nine years. This coming Sunday, June 5, will be our last Sunday at the church. I was hired in 2002 by the founding pastor of the church, John Wilson. He retired in 2007. As sometimes happens with the change in senior pastors, associate pastors who holdover from a previous administration are encouraged to find other places of ministry. After serving four years with our current pastor, my tenure has ended and I've started the adventure of finding a new place of ministry.

I will continue to write this blog. In fact, I will write several blogs in the near future about some of my experiences as a staff member at this church. For now, however, I wanted to tell you that if you go to the WCAG website to access my blog, you will need to subscribe to it. After Sunday, the link may not be in the place where you have found it in the past. Go to the bottom of this page and look for the "Subscribe To: Posts (Atom)". When you click on it, you will be taken to a page where you can subscribe to my blog. You will get an email notice when a new blog has been posted.

Thanks for all your comments on the various topics I write about. I have really enjoyed blogging about spiritual and Biblical topics, personal experiences and blogging about my family. I will blog frequently about our adventure as we trust God for a new ministry opportunity and trust Him for the sale of our house. While our economy is not producing many jobs, and the housing market is down, this gives us the opportunity to really watch God move on our behalf. Our family is seeing this as an adventure in trusting God, and we'll let you know how it goes.

A Great Hymn Story

Joachim Neander was born on May 30, 1650. He only lived thirty years. In those thirty years he served faithfully an an endearing pastor and as the author of sixty hymns. In his spare time, he loved to hike through a beautiful valley near Dusseldorf, and after his untimely death from tuberculosis, this valley (or thal in German) was named for him - Neander-thal. (you know what's coming, don't you.)

Ironically, many years later the skeletal remains of an early race of humans were found in that valley and dubbed "Neanderthal man." The discovery gave a temporary boost to supporters of human evolution. How odd that the name of the writer of one of our greatest creation hymns should be attached to a theory he never would have supported.

   Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of creation!
   O my soul, praise Him, for He is thy health and salvation!
   All ye who hear, now to His temple draw near;
   Praise Him in glad adoration.

   Praise to the Lord, who over all things so wondrously reigneth,
   Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth!
   Hast thou not seen how thy desires e'er have been
   Granted in what He ordaineth?

   Praise to the Lord, O let all that is in me adore Him!
   All that hath life and breath, come now with praises before Him.
   Let the amen, sound from His people again,
   Gladly for aye we adore Him.

We Laid A Hero To Rest Today

Ted Wilding is a hero. He's a hero because he did the hard things well. He didn't shy away from responsibility and demonstrated a tremendous love for his wife even under a most difficult situation.

I met Ted nine years ago when I became the minster of music at West County Assembly of God. Ted played the tuba in our orchestra. Very early in my time at the church I had the opportunity to sit down with Ted and get to know him better and hear his story. The short version is that he had played the sousaphone and tuba in high school and college. Once he started in his career, he didn't play again. Much later in life, at the urging of other musicians, he started playing an old sousaphone. At one point, the minister of music at WCAG at the time, Doug Gilliland, arranged for the church to buy a new tuba for Ted to play. He didn't know if it was because Doug wanted a tuba rather than a sousaphone, or if it was because the sousaphone always played slightly flat. Either way, Ted, and the orchestra, was blessed with a brand new instrument. Ted also played in a brass quintet that make up the brass section of our orchestra. I love to hear them play.

Today the brass quintet was a quartet. Ted slipped into eternity last Tuesday evening some time, sitting in his favorite chair. He was the caretaker for his lovely wife Jo. I still remember the time when Ted told me that Jo had been diagnosed with dementia, and the prognosis was that it would probably turn into full blown Alzheimer's disease. Over time, we watched Jo start to slip away, and Ted faithfully took care of her. At one point he brought her to our rehearsals, so she could be close by. She needed to see him close. A few months ago he started taking her to the restroom during our rehearsals because he was afraid if she went on her own she might not find her way back. About the same time he told me that he was going to have to sit out playing for our worship services because Jo needed him to be close by. He still played with the Orchestra for special songs and presentations, but most Sundays he sat with Jo. Kathy and I went to the assisted living apartments where Ted and Jo lived for dinner a few times. It was wonderful to watch Ted take care of Jo, and to see her enjoy our visits because she felt so comfortable with Ted's care. I never once heard Ted complain about his and Jo's life. He was always upbeat and was a delight to be around, particularly at our Orchestra rehearsals.

Today we laughed at memories, cried some, played and sang some of Ted's favorite music, and said goodbye. The wonderful thing is that we'll see Ted again. The promise of eternity with those we love, and in God's presence is what sustains us through these times of loss. Ted Wilding is a hero...

The Miracle of God's Creation

I mentioned in my last blog that I had been in Albany, Oregon, visiting with our daughter Aimee, her husband Jason and our grandchildren. I also met our newest grand daughter, Norah Grace. I hadn't held a brand new baby in some time, so as I held her, many times, in the days I was there, I was reminded of how delicate and tiny and perfect, God's creation is. I was fascinated by her fingers, each one perfectly formed. Her tiny, tiny fingernails, miniatures of mine. Each facet and feature of her face placed there with exacting detail. While I realize I'm biased, this little girl is one of the most beautiful of God's creations.

Lately I have been fascinated with the bigness of God. Recently I read an article about the vastness of the universe and how that despite advances in methods to see farther out into space, the writer of the article concluded that we would really never know how big our universe is, much less what else is out there. As I thought about the findings of the author, I thought that God had to be bigger than we can possibly imagine in order to have created and bring order to this huge creation. Then, I was awed again as I sat and held Norah and marveled at God's incredible detail in miniature. I had an interesting question. How does a baby's heart start and how big is that heart. Scientists tell us that a baby's heart begins to beat at about 5 weeks after conception and at 5 weeks, the entire baby is only 1/16 to 1/8 inch (1.5 to 3 millimeters) long. That means that the heart is nearly microscopic. I wonder if God takes the responsibility to start each new heart? I wonder if His assistant says to Him, "God, today 27,567 new babies are ready to have their hearts start beating." And in His Omnipresent way, He begins the process of breathing life by starting brand new, tiny, tiny hearts beating.

I am constantly amazed that the Creator of the universe, is also the same God who cares about microscopic details, like beginning new life. He does love us, He does care for us, He does know exactly where we are at and what we need. He is always there. Norah Grace, you won't remember my visit, but thanks for the reminder of who our wonderful God is.



It Doesn't Get Much Better Than This

I'm in Oregon for a few days visiting with my daughter Aimee, son-in-law Jason, and grandchildren Mattie, Elyse, JJ and my newest granddaughter, Norah Grace. Here's a picture I took yesterday as we were both going in and out of consciousness. It's amazing how relaxed you can be when you are holding a new baby. In the moments when I was actually awake, it struck me how dependent Norah was on me to hold her, not drop her, pat her a little when she stirred and generally look out for her welfare while I was holding her. While she is too young to figure out who she can trust and not trust, I think that at this age, trust is automatic. It is expected. Boy, don't you wish you could trust like that again. We've had too many life experiences that have put barriers and filters up so that we can evaluate who we can trust and who we ought to avoid.
The beauty of trusting God is that we can trust him just like Norah was trusting me. No preconceived ideas, no conditions, not even any perceived outcomes, just simple trust that God has it all in control. He said in His word that He would never leave us or forsake us. He is there for us. I was thinking about that as I held Norah and she took a nap. Maybe that's what we should do, take a nap in the arms of Jesus, and trust Him...

I Will See the Goodness of the Lord

Psalm 27 was part of my read-the-Bible-through-in-a-year reading today. It begins with two huge statements of confidence in who God is. The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid? (emphasis mine) The Bible's description of Heaven tells us that there is no night there because Christ is the source of light. I wonder if that means there will not be any shadows. After all, if God is omnipresent, He would be on all sides of any object at the same time, no shadows. There are three powerful words here, light, salvation and stronghold. When you let that sink in, there really isn't a reason to fear or be afraid.

Later on in the Psalm the author writes, One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. There are days when we wish this would come to pass as soon as possible. The wonderful thing about this is that even in our toughest times, we know that one day we will dwell in the house of the Lord and we will gaze upon the beauty of the Lord. I have heard Christians wonder out loud if praising God will eventually get old in Heaven. I personally think that the process of uncovering the wonders of God will produce praise and worship and this process will go on throughout eternity. I think every moment will produce more wonderment and awe at who God is and what He has done, and our only response will be worship.

The Psalm ends with, I am confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. In our present day, consumer oriented culture, where everything is immediate, no one likes to wait. Sometimes, however, after we have exhausted all the things we can do, the only response is to wait. Even then, we sometimes can't resist the arrogance of telling God what He needs to do for us, now! I think sometimes God waits us out, waits out our struggling, throwing tantrums, trying to fix things, and then He moves on our behalf. If we believe He is our stronghold (verse 1), then in His strength we can be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (verse 14)

If you are having a tough time, this Psalm is for you. Read the entire Psalm and meditate on each section. Then, wait on the Lord. He's there...waiting for you.

Motherhood Is a High Calling

I live with a mother who has a high calling to be a mother. It became very evident when were were living in Linn County, Oregon in the early 80s. Kathy heard a public service announcement regarding the county's Social Services Department that was in desperate need of foster parents. We had two pre-schoolers at the time and we were on the pastoral staff of a large church in Albany, Oregon. After several discussions about the logistics of fostering children, and the consideration of moral and humanitarian implications, we signed up to take the classes and become foster parents. While Kathy and I are solidly pro-life, we are not protesters. We would probably never feel comfortable standing in front of a Planned Parenthood office or abortion clinic with a sign. But given the fact that at any given time there are approximately 500,000 children in foster care in the United States, caring for a child in this situation seemed to us to be a way to declare our commitment to life, to a watching world that seems to discard children without any remorse or second thought.

I must admit, Kathy was the primary care giver. I assisted her with a lot, but she is the one who cared for each child 24/7, took them to doctor appointments, took them for visits with their parents, met with the social workers, etc. There is not enough room to tell any of the stories, but each child was a story, including our very first baby with a huge hole in her heart that made her unadoptable. Our task was to care for her while treatment was decided on and then get her through the surgery(s) that would be needed and all the other things she would need. Before any of this took place, we had her dedicated in a church service and God healed that hole. Everyone who knew of her case was totally amazed.

I'm not sure how many children we had in our home in Oregon, but there were several, including the birth of our third child, Josh. When we moved to South Carolina, we were both working full time at Heritage USA, but we also cared for newborn pre-adoptive babies. We had several babies in SC, each time when they left our home to go to their adopted home, the new parents spent the night before the transfer with us in our home. One couple brought their video camera and videoed everything, including changing dirty diapers, feeding, especially burping, it was quite hilarious. Kathy was the perfect mother to turn over a new baby to adoptive parents. She made sure they knew everything they needed to know, and helped make the new parents feel comfortable with their new baby.

When we got to Denver, we were only one of two families that specialized in medically fragile or severely abused children. We saw some real miracles as severely abused babies started the healing process. These children were fortunate to have Kathy as a foster mom. She loved and nursed so many children back to health. It was in Denver where we adopted our three children who were not adoptable because of their birth problems, both medical and because their mothers abused alcohol or drugs while they were pregnant. I still remember the forms we had to sign for Nicole. The disclaimer form was longer than anything I have ever seen. They wanted to make sure that we went into this adoption with our eyes wide open. I thought we would stop at one, or two, but it was mom, Kathy, who couldn't turn a child away. Today we have three teenagers in our home that we love dearly. Even though they have presented some unique challenges, they are wonderful children.

There have been times when I have sat back and been awed by Kathy's commitment to children, to watch her love and care for them without any regrets or selfishness. She has given up a lot over the years to do this, (35+ children) but somehow I think that she wouldn't have changed a thing. For her, motherhood is a high calling.

Here's a Glimpse of My Mom

Mothers are wonderful people. They sacrifice everything for their children. They love, protect, nurture and set aside their own needs and desires for their children. My mother is no different. Even after all the years I have been an adult, with my own family, my mom is still my loving, protecting, nurturing mom.

When my two sisters and I were in elementary school we had an annual late summer routine that the kids loved. I'm not so sure it was as much fun for my mother. My mom didn't drive during these early years, so when the appointed day came, we walked down to the bus stop and took the public bus to downtown San Jose. On one of the main downtown intersections was a huge J.C. Penney store. For several hours the three of us would try on clothes, pick new underwear, try on shoes and get ready for the new school year. After we paid for our purchases, we would load up our bags and walk down a block to the big Woolworth store. We would climb up on the lunch counter stools, put our bags at our feet and enjoy a real treat, lunch in a restaurant. We didn't eat out very often when we were growing up, so having lunch at the Woolworth lunch counter was a treat to look forward to all year. After we had eaten the last bite, we would load up our Penny's bags and head back a block to catch the bus for home. I can remember thinking that I hated for the day to end as the bus got close to our stop. It eventually got there, we loaded up our bags and walked home and put away all our new school clothes. My mom made this a great day for us, a fun day that I remember so fondly.

As an adult, I now know how hard my parents had to work to provide for us. I know my mom set aside many of her desires and needs so that we would have what we needed. Her example help mold me, and build character into my life. I know everyone thinks they have the best mom in the world. Too bad they didn't have mine, it would change their mind. (By the way, I still buy my underwear at J.C. Penny. As a child I loved the smell of a brand new tee shirt, I still do...)  

Freedom and the Voice of God

I have just started reading Bill Hybels book, The Power Of A Whisper. Near the beginning of the book Bill talks about some of his experiences in hearing the voice of God, and how awesome and humbling it is to know that God would speak to us. Specifically to us.

Reading the first pages of the book reminded me of a time when I was as frustrated as I could be as a worship leader. We had joined the staff of a church in the northwest part of Denver and my assignment was to help transition this church from a fairly traditional congregational singing church to a worshipping church. What this entailed was working with a choir and musicians, helping them understand what we were trying to do, and to communicate to the congregation, mostly by our actions and attitudes and not a lot of talking. Week after week I carefully prepared music that would help us all make this transition. We learned some wonderful new worship music, we put together a small vocal worship team, we rehearsed faithfully each week, and we blended hymns and older songs into the mix so there would be something for everyone, and nothing. I mean nothing. Each week it felt like our musical offerings to the Lord made it to the end of our stage and dropped off onto the floor. I would look out and see people yawning, talking, half heartedly singing and it would wipe me out. I can remember telling the Lord how futile it was trying to help this congregation learn to worship Him.

On one Sunday, after the second service of the day, I was driving home alone, feeling sorry for myself and complaining to the Lord about how I thought things had gone. And then God spoke to me. I can take you to the exact place in the road where it happened. While I don't believe I heard the audible voice of God, the impact created a lifetime transformation for me. He said, "You are not responsible for any results. When you lead people into My Presence, it is up to Me to affect their lives. All you need to do is to worship Me, worship with all your heart, people will watch you, join with you and they will enter My Presence where I will have the opportunity to change their lives". I cannot tell you how freeing that was for me. While it took some time to totally let go of my need to "see people respond", it was the beginning of a change for this congregation. After this encounter I began to have people come up to me and tell me how "meaningful this song was", or "I really was able to worship God this morning". Sometimes people made these kind of comments to me and I remember looking out over the congregation and not seeing anything unusual happening to them. No hands raised, no "heavenly glow", but it didn't matter. God was at work and I didn't have to worry about the results. If you are in a ministry position today and you are struggling with your effectiveness, just do what God has called you to do. Let Him take care of the results. It's freeing....it really is.

Our Bodies Are Miraculous Creations

Last week I was reminded again of God's unbelievable attention to detail when he created us. I had a visit with a new cardiologist. After listening to my Atrial Fibrillation story, he decided to do a stress test. I'll have that on Friday of this week. As part of the appointment, he decided to have a heart ultrasound done to make sure that my heart muscle is strong and that everything, except for the erratic rhythm, is working good.

I was turned away from the ultrasound monitor so I could not see any of the images that were being recorded. Since it took about 45 minutes, there is a lot of video of my heart beating. When the test was over and I was putting on my shirt, I looked at the monitor and saw that the last images were still there. It showed one of my valves opening and closing. I watched as the valve, in concert with the other part of my heart that was visible, worked to move blood through my heart. I was nearly overcome emotionally as I watched the valve work and realized how wonderfully we are put together. As I got ready to write this blog, I did a quick calculation. If I estimate that my heart has averaged 75 beats per minute, for 61 years and 2 months, the valve I was watching has opened and closed two billion, four hundred and fifty million, five hundred and twenty thousand times since I was born. (2,450,520,000) And that doesn't included the time in my mother's womb.

The Bible tells us in Psalm 39:13-14; For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; (my emphasis) your works are wonderful, I know that full well. I left the building with a deeper appreciation for the God we serve. The God who loves us, who knows us intimately and who loves us with an overwhelming love. By the way, the test showed my heart is very strong and working well, except for the irregular heart beat. I'm hoping this cardiologist will be able to help me with that.