Losses

This year, along with my daily Bible reading, I have been reading a devotional volume titled Victorious Living, written by E. Stanley Jones in 1936, right in the middle of the Great Depression. The title almost seems to be an oxymoron, given that times were anything but "victorious" in the 1930's and early 40's. Understandably, then, Jones writes a lot in this devotional about trials, tribulations, and suffering, and the Christian's response to it. On the August 14th reading, he writes, "While suffering happens to us all, it does not have the same effect upon us all. It all depends upon inner attitudes. As someone has said, 'Sorrow and suffering makes some people querulous (full of complaints) and bitter; others it sweetens and refines'. Same event, but with opposite effects." He goes on to illustrate his point with the thief on the cross who, in his desperate circumstance, complained and railed at Jesus for not saving them. The other thief, in the same situation, saw this tragedy as a result of his sin, repented, and found an open door to paradise. The third, through that cross, redeemed a race. The same event, but with three entirely different results.

The past months have been soul searching times for me as I have struggled to come to grips with all the losses that I, Kathy and our family have had to deal with. Here in chronological order are some of the major ones: The loss of my job after 9 years, the loss of our church family, the loss of contact with people with whom I had relationships that I enjoyed, the loss of regular income, the loss of my father, the failure to find a job in the St. Louis area and the loss of living where we expected to raise all of our children. The loss of personal contact with our children who stayed behind in St. Louis, the loss of our St. Louis friends who loved and supported us through 14 difficult months, the loss of our son's friends who moved with us to Tucson and left 10 years of friendships behind. The sale of our house in St. Louis at a loss, that will not only result in us having to pay to sell our house, but also to pay to have quite a number of things fixed in order to pass governmental inspections. Now this may seem trivial, but last Friday I lost my car. A car that, when I found it, I believe the Lord helped me find. The nicest car I have ever owned, even though it was an older model, in great shape with low mileage. I loved driving that car. But, unfortunately, it overheated on Kathy and ruined the engine.

Throughout the ordeal of the last 14 months, I can honestly say that being thankful for what we had, catapulted me upwards on the days when I hit the bottom. Yesterday was one of those days. First, I found out for sure that the cost to repair my car would far exceed its value, and I found out that several more items had been added to the list of things that needed repair on our St. Louis house. As I started to set out all the decorations for a grand pity party, the Lord reminded me of a news story I had viewed the night before about people in our area who have lost everything. Successful, prosperous people who are struggling to survive. Early this morning as I lay in bed, half praying and half thinking about the day, I was reminded about the story of Job. I would never want to trade places with Job or the people in the news story. After all, I have a roof over my head, my family is intact, I'm in good health, and I'm working again. So, I'll go with E. Stanley Jones' thought, "It all depends upon inner attitudes...others it sweetens and refines". The next time you see me, I'll be working hard to be sweetened and refined...