Random Thoughts About Living In Tucson

We arrived in Tucson, Arizona, eight weeks ago today. It has been quite an adjustment from living in St. Louis. Here are some random thoughts from my first eight weeks here.

The desert starts to grow on you, the more you spend time in it. The picture to the right is the view I have every morning when I walk. The main road near our home turns into a dirt road close to our house, and there are numerous trails off the road to walk. Tucson is surrounded by mountains on three sides. There is something comforting about mountains. I have enjoyed seeing roadrunners, rabbits, lizards, and quail on my walks. I'm still watching for deer, gila monsters, and javalinas. (wild pig like animals)

Yesterday, while I was walking, I watched five Air Force A-10 fighter jets take off from Davis Monthan Air Force base. I have always loved seeing military aircraft in flight. We have a lot of military aircraft in the air in Tucson. This is a real treat. Davis Monthan AFB is also a storage facility for hundreds and hundreds of military aircraft. I drive by a lot of them on the way to and from work. I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing them.

Pima County, our county, is broke, like many counties across the country. I have never driven on so many poorly surfaced roads as I have in Tucson. I imagine the car repair and particularly the wheel alignment sector of the economy ought to be doing good here. Supposedly, there is no money to repair roads. However, almost every main street here has clearly marked bike lanes, complete with signs that tell motorists to give bikes the right of way. The bike lanes seem to be in better shape than the roads. Because the weather is so nice for so much of the year, you can bike nearly year around here.

I have been surprised by how many people have tattoos here. And not just tiny tattoos on shoulders or ankles. We're talking big tattoos on arms and legs and necks and other places. Since it is hotter here, a lot more tattoos show than they would in Minnesota. In Tucson, tattoos aren't found on just younger people. People of all ages have a lot of tattoos. Maybe it's because Tucson was a wild West town in the old days and some of that wild West feel still prevails. Maybe it's because Tucson is "artsy" and more liberal politically. Maybe it's just that I lived a somewhat sheltered life the past ten years in an affluent area of St. Louis where having visible tattoos isn't cool. Maybe I'm just getting old...

This is Mexican food heaven. Between all the tortilla bakeries, restaurants and by-the-side-of-the-road stands, a person could gain a lot of weight living in Tucson. Sometime soon we are going to sample a dish invented here in Tucson called a Sonoran hot-dog. I'll let you know how it tastes. After just eight weeks here, I'm thinking the menu at the marriage supper of the Lamb is going to have to be tamales, enchiladas, tacos, pinto beans and all the other great Mexican cuisine. I've roasted several pounds of green chili in our oven and the smell is overwhelmingly wonderful. Anyone who visits us, and loves Mexican food, is going to be for a treat.

Well, that's it for now. I'll write on again on this topic. We've only scratched the surface of this place in our first eight weeks.

Class Warfare and the Book of Acts

This year I have been reading a daily devotional book by E. Stanley Jones, written in the 1930s. E. Stanley Jones was an incredible missionary to India, South America, and visited many other countries. It is said that he delivered 60,000 sermons or lectures in his life time, sometimes preaching or teaching 6-7 times a day. One of the marks of his life was that he brought Christ to India. His message of Christ and His love was not tied to a church, or dogma, or even attempts to "Americanize" East Indians. His message was simply the Christ of the Bible, who loved the Indian people dearly and gave His life for them.

One of the interesting sections of the devotional book I am reading deals with Jones' view on Christians and possessions. When I first began reading through this section, I thought to myself, this hints of Christian socialism. Jones puts forth the idea that we are responsible for each other. Christ's church, the people, should look after each other, just like the first church, as described in the book of Acts. More on that in a minute. However, the more I read, the more I understood what E. Stanley Jones was trying to say.

Fast forward to one of the political hot potatoes this year. The idea of the "1% versus the 99%", "take from the rich and give to the poor", "there is class warfare in this country", etc. Part of the debate centers on the idea that the richest people, those making over $250,000 a year, can afford to pay a lot more than the rest of us. The other side argues that you stifle small business and business expansion when you tax the people who are most likely to help our economy recover. One party is hoping that the voters will want to have a government that gives them money, or goods, just because they happen to fall into a lower economic level. The other party is hoping that the American voters will understand that the economy must be stimulated by private enterprise and you do whatever it takes to help business begin to expand again.


Acts 4:32-36 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. (emphasis mine) For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales  and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need. Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), 37 sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles' feet. 

This was the beginning of the dynamic New Testament church. Throughout history, when the church of Jesus Christ really acted like the church, great things happened. A government led program to level out our economy will never work. It may finally result in civil unrest and a collapse of order. But what about the early church? What a magnificent pattern of caring for each other. I'm still mulling this over, but I think there is a lot here that we, as church leaders and parishioners, need to consider. More on this...

Making Our Will Coincide With God's

One of the interesting learning opportunities over the past few months has been to see my prayer life evolve. A lot changes when the direction of your life takes a drastic, unplanned, and unpleasant turn. A couple of things I realized very quickly, the intensity of my prayer life increased, and I spent much more time praying for those people I love and care about, my family. In the busyness of a job and family life, sometimes it is easy to "skim over the important stuff" and only pray about the things you need. During the weeks where I had a lot more time, the combination of meditating on God's Word and praying that Word, resulted in learning some incredible truth about who God is, what He was saying to me, particularly through His Word, and the re-arranging of my prayer priorities.

For the past month, I have been settling into my new full time church pastoral position in Tucson, Arizona. We've been trying to return to normal. (I'm not sure that normal exists any longer) In this first month, however, one of our car engines was ruined, so we lost that car, and this week our house sale in Missouri fell apart when the buyer decided she really didn't want to buy a house after all. That means that for the time being, we are paying to maintain two households, and we eventually need to do something about replacing our second car. How do we pray about these major things that are financial roadblocks to returning to normalcy?

First, I have learned that prayer is not bending God to our will. In other words, our needs and priorities are not the important things here. Prayer is bringing our will to God's. Prayer does not pull God to us, it pulls us to God. Prayer aligns our will with His will, so that He can do things through us that He would not otherwise have been able to do. Prayer is not convincing God that He needs to act on our behalf, but it is resting in the knowledge that prayer is unlocking His ability to move on our behalf. God already knew that our car was going to overheat and the engine would be ruined. He knew before we did that our buyer would not follow through on her commitment to purchase our house. He also knows what our income is, what our expenses are, and how we are trying to make everything work out. So, while I might remind God from time to time what our needs are, I am much more interested in knowing His will for us, and watching how He will deal with our situation. If you are facing some insurmountable mountains of unpleasant circumstances, align your will with God's will. Even though it is hard to give up the desire to be a "fixer," give up your fixer will to God and rest in the knowledge that He already knew your situation, He already knows the solution, and He's waiting for you to surrender your independence to Him. I'm right with you, trying to do the same thing...

Time Out

Gal 1:15-18 But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any man, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went immediately into Arabia and later returned to Damascus. Then after three years, I went up to Jerusalem to get acquainted with Peter and stayed with him fifteen days. NIV

A "time out" in a sporting event is a time for a participant or team to catch its breath, go over a play, get a drink, and prepare for the next period of play. For spectators, its a time to stretch, use the restroom, grab a snack, and get ready to watch the next part of the game. In life, planned time outs, like vacations, sabbaticals, and other planned time away, bring refreshing, a change of pace and renewing for the next phase of working life. Unplanned time outs, on the other hand, that come from sickness, unemployment, or other life altering events, can throw our plans totally off course and sometimes send a person into a downward spiral that is almost impossible to recover from. In today's uncertain economic and jobs climate, many people find themselves in a "time out" that is not of their making. What do we do with these periods of life? Can any good come from them? In the passage I cited at the beginning of this post, Paul is talking about his experience on the road to Damascus, where God got his attention in a dynamic way. In a few moments, Saul, the persecutor of Christians, was changed into Paul, the preacher of God's salvation message. However, Paul didn't pick himself up from the dusty road and immediately launch into a preaching ministry. He tells us that he spent three years of preparation before God launched him into his lifetime work. How about Christ, and the Message that must have burned in his soul during the silent years in Nazareth, when he worked as a carpenter? But He did not strain against the "time out," he would wait-for thirty long years.

E. Stanley Jones, in his year long devotional, Victorious Living, wrote, "Someone has said that in the field of music, pauses are music in the making. There is a momentary suspense only to produce music more lovely than before. The pause prepares everyone for the finer music. Is it possible that these pauses in our lives - these suspensions from activity - may become music in the making?" 

If, in the midst of economic stress, or physical limitations, we can see our "time out" as a time for God to prepare us for the next stage of our lives, then we will have turned a big negative into a positive opportunity for future success. The biggest challenge is to see God's hand in our lives, and not waste the time in self pity and casting blame. O Lord, help me to be patient while you prepare me for the next phase of my life, so that I can really blossom when You bring full release. Help me not to strain against my "time out," but to trust You.

Watching For the Truck

A few years ago I helped my parents move from their longtime home in the Central Valley area of California to the Columbus, Ohio area. They had some friends help them pack their home, and they had other people help them load a U-Haul truck, put their car on a car dolly, and they were ready to move. I flew from Oklahoma City and met them at their home. It was a bittersweet time for them, and for me. They had lived in  this home for quite a few years. Our older three children had some wonderful experiences each summer when they spent time with their grandparents. For several years we lived close enough to spend Thanksgivings and Christmases together, and time together for no special reason, because we enjoyed going to my parent's home. My dad was at the age where he couldn't take care of his house anymore, so my parents were moving to be near my sister and brother-in-law, in a home with little or no maintenance. As I prepared to drive away, many of these memories flooded my mind. I walked around the yard for one last time. Looked at the roses my dad was so proud of, looked at his garden, his grape vines, and the places where he had his bird feeders. My mom's sister and husband were there with them and they drove off to the nearest airport to fly to Columbus. I climbed into the truck and began the 2,450 mile trip. It took several days, with a stop in Oklahoma City, so that Kathy could follow me to Columbus. We would help get my parents settled and then drive home to pack. We were in a transition at that point, as well. Two months later we moved to St. Louis and lived there until a month ago.

I called my folks each day of the trip to let them know where I was, and to report that all was well. On the last day, as I got close, I called to get specific directions to their new home. When I drove up the street, there was my dad. He waved me into the exact spot, grinning and saying his constant phrase, "thank you, Jesus, thank you for a safe trip for my boy." If you spent any time around my dad, he constantly gave audible praise to God for everything. It was so much fun to pull up to their house and see his delight in the fact that we had a long, but very successful trip.

Fast forward ten years. Last weekend, our son Josh, got some help and loaded up all of our belongings that didn't fit in the truck that we loaded and drove to Tucson, AZ, at the end of July. On Friday afternoon, he left St. Louis, stopped in Springfield, MO, to drop off my piano at his brother's house, and then continued on to Oklahoma City for the night. He arrived, after a 1,500 mile trip, on Saturday evening. With cell coverage being so good, just ten years later, we kept in contact throughout the trip. Just before he arrived, I called Josh to find out where he was, so his mother could start the last dish she was preparing for supper. When he told me where he was, I knew he would be at our house in ten minutes or so. So there I was, on the sidewalk, outside our new home, waiting for my son to arrive. As he came down the street, I breathed a sigh of relief, said "thank you, Jesus" for a safe trip, and waved him into the right spot. I know I felt just like my dad did ten years earlier. The time and help I gave my parents ten years earlier, was repaid to me by my son, in almost the exact same way. One day, down the road, Josh may be standing on the sidewalk of his new home, grateful for a child who willingly gave his parents the time and help they needed. That's how it is supposed to work, family members lovingly taking care of each other, each generation helping the other one. God is good...

Losses

This year, along with my daily Bible reading, I have been reading a devotional volume titled Victorious Living, written by E. Stanley Jones in 1936, right in the middle of the Great Depression. The title almost seems to be an oxymoron, given that times were anything but "victorious" in the 1930's and early 40's. Understandably, then, Jones writes a lot in this devotional about trials, tribulations, and suffering, and the Christian's response to it. On the August 14th reading, he writes, "While suffering happens to us all, it does not have the same effect upon us all. It all depends upon inner attitudes. As someone has said, 'Sorrow and suffering makes some people querulous (full of complaints) and bitter; others it sweetens and refines'. Same event, but with opposite effects." He goes on to illustrate his point with the thief on the cross who, in his desperate circumstance, complained and railed at Jesus for not saving them. The other thief, in the same situation, saw this tragedy as a result of his sin, repented, and found an open door to paradise. The third, through that cross, redeemed a race. The same event, but with three entirely different results.

The past months have been soul searching times for me as I have struggled to come to grips with all the losses that I, Kathy and our family have had to deal with. Here in chronological order are some of the major ones: The loss of my job after 9 years, the loss of our church family, the loss of contact with people with whom I had relationships that I enjoyed, the loss of regular income, the loss of my father, the failure to find a job in the St. Louis area and the loss of living where we expected to raise all of our children. The loss of personal contact with our children who stayed behind in St. Louis, the loss of our St. Louis friends who loved and supported us through 14 difficult months, the loss of our son's friends who moved with us to Tucson and left 10 years of friendships behind. The sale of our house in St. Louis at a loss, that will not only result in us having to pay to sell our house, but also to pay to have quite a number of things fixed in order to pass governmental inspections. Now this may seem trivial, but last Friday I lost my car. A car that, when I found it, I believe the Lord helped me find. The nicest car I have ever owned, even though it was an older model, in great shape with low mileage. I loved driving that car. But, unfortunately, it overheated on Kathy and ruined the engine.

Throughout the ordeal of the last 14 months, I can honestly say that being thankful for what we had, catapulted me upwards on the days when I hit the bottom. Yesterday was one of those days. First, I found out for sure that the cost to repair my car would far exceed its value, and I found out that several more items had been added to the list of things that needed repair on our St. Louis house. As I started to set out all the decorations for a grand pity party, the Lord reminded me of a news story I had viewed the night before about people in our area who have lost everything. Successful, prosperous people who are struggling to survive. Early this morning as I lay in bed, half praying and half thinking about the day, I was reminded about the story of Job. I would never want to trade places with Job or the people in the news story. After all, I have a roof over my head, my family is intact, I'm in good health, and I'm working again. So, I'll go with E. Stanley Jones' thought, "It all depends upon inner attitudes...others it sweetens and refines". The next time you see me, I'll be working hard to be sweetened and refined...

That's the Dumbest Thing I Have Ever Heard

Kathy's and my first date started off badly. First, the girl I really wanted to take out after an evening church service for dinner, couldn't go. Kathy was free, so off we went to one of my favorite places. When we got there, she couldn't go in because she wasn't 21. While it wasn't just a bar, because drinks were served, minors weren't allowed. So, as we settled in to my second choice restaurant, with my second choice date, we began to talk. When we began to talk about future plans, our date went into a complete free-fall. After telling Kathy about my education already completed, my future education plans, and my short and long term goals, her response to my question "what do you want to do?" was, "I want to be a pastor's wife." All I could blurt out was "that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard." Under normal circumstances, that would be the end of that. One date, no more. Complete incompatibility.

Fast forward 39 years or so. Today, August 9th in 1974, we were both preparing for our wedding that evening. I was a new pastor, a youth pastor in northern California, and she was to become a young pastor's wife. Moving from a large city and large church, to a much smaller community and a very small church. How our lives changed and came together is a story for another blog, but suffice it to say, God did some real changing in me, as He helped me understand His plan for my life's work.

This summer we began a new adventure, in a new city, in a new church. Our lives have been a wonderful adventure that has included six great children, seven grandchildren, living in several states, and several great churches. Kathy has been an incredible pastor's wife, serving along side me as we worked with students, music ministry, hospitality and many other areas. She's done this while raising 3 birth children, caring for over 35 medically fragile or severely abused babies, and raising 3 adopted children. Little did we know, when she said to me "I want to be a pastor's wife", how our lives would intersect and be lived out for the past 38 years. We have had many great moments, and we've been in the valley a few times. Life has been grand, and then taken turns we would rather not experience again. Through it all, Kathy has been right with me, steady, supportive, and ready for the next adventure God sends us on. Happy anniversary, Baby-doll. You are the best! 

The Breath Of God

Job 33:4 The Spirit of God made me what I am, the breath of God Almighty gave me life! MSG

Two Friday mornings ago, July 28th, Kathy, Shawn, Sam and I were continuing our journey from St. Louis to Tucson. We spent Thursday night in Tucumcari, New Mexico. Earlier on Thursday, at one of our frequent fuel stops, (large rental trucks get horrible gas mileage) we got ice cream. Each of us got something different. I chose a soft ice cream cone. Within 30 minutes, I knew that something wasn't right. My stomach began to churn and I felt like I had the flu coming on. Even though I was able to eat supper that evening, I did not feel very good. That night I woke up very often, made frequent trips to the bathroom and started the day without a good night's rest.

On Friday morning, I took off in the large truck and Kathy stayed behind in our van with Sam and Shawn to return some Redbox movies and stop at a store. A few miles down the road, I began to get very sick, so sick, in fact, that I wasn't sure I could get to the side of the road safely. I was able to park okay, get my emergency flashers on, and slide over to the passenger door and get out of the truck cab. I can't remember any time when I have been sicker than this. I tried to sit on the narrow step, expecting a violent episode at any moment. At one point, I stood up, grabbed onto the seat support and laid my head on the floor of the truck. At that moment, all I could do was whisper "God, help me... God, help me". I felt like I could pass out at any moment and looked down at the gravel on the shoulder of the road and thought "I really don't want to do a face plant on that." As I continued to whisper "God, help me...", a soft, cool wind began to blow from my left side. Even though this was mid-morning, this is the desert, and it was already pretty hot. But there it was, a cool breeze that bathed me from my heat to my waist. I had soaked through my shirt by this time, and the cool breeze felt so good. As I continued to cry out to God, the breeze picked up, both in intensity and in coolness. At one point, it became a wind, again, just from my waist to my head. The waves of nausea began to lift, and I felt an unbelievable peace that God was with me, just me, on the side of Highway 40, between Tucumcari and Albuquerque, New Mexico. I finally let go of my death grip on the seat support and turned toward the direction that the wind was coming from. As I did that, the wind began to subside. As it subsided, I began to feel better physically, but spiritually, I was doing somersaults. God had met me in a real way on that highway.

By the time Kathy caught up with me, I had laid down on the seat of the truck to try and regain some strength. The nausea was all gone, and within 30 minutes or so, I was able to continue driving. We did stop early that day in order for me to go to bed and get a good night's sleep, and it took several days for all the poison to wash itself out of my body. On Friday and Saturday we experienced some vistas and geographical formations that were breathtaking. God's creative handiwork was very evident as we drove. In the back of my mind, however, was the undeniable fact that God, who created the universe and our world, had met me, personally, just me, and breathed on me. Awesome.

The Journey Continues...

This is the first opportunity I have had to sit at a computer and write a blog about our journey from St. Louis to Tucson. It has been a whirlwind of activity since last Wednesday, July 25th until today, August 2nd. Somehow, however, I don't think the accelerated activity is over yet. We just got into our rented home yesterday, and our garage is a sea of boxes, all crying out to be brought into our house and unpacked. It was so nice to sleep in our own bed last night, the first time in over a week. I am in my office today, trying to get things organized so I can get to work.

We decided to help our new church save some money and drive our household goods from St. Louis to Tucson ourselves. I drove a 26' Penske truck, fully loaded, and towed my car. Kathy drove our van. We stuffed everything we could into the truck, my car and the van, and still have things in St. Louis that we are trying to figure out how to get to Tucson. The drive was actually quite pleasant, although very long. Because the truck could not travel at highway speed, and slowed down considerably in the mountains, I'm not so sure Kathy had the greatest time following me. Unfortunately, I got food poisioning on the the second day and that slowed us down half a day. In another blog I'll write about an incredible encounter I had with the Holy Spirit on the side of the highway between Tucumcari and Albuquerque, New Mexico in the middle of being as sick as I have ever been in my life.

We left St. Louis late afternoon on Wednesday. We arrived in Tucson early afternoon on Saturday. Since the monsoon season had already started in the southwest, the desert was blooming, and it was beautiful. The vistas are so huge, it seemed at times like we could see the curve of the earth in the far distance. The seemingly non-ending views were awesome to look at. The picture at the top of the page is taken from the cab of the truck as we were entering Arizona. The picture doesn't give you immensity of the view. Just a few miles from here we got poured on, and then the skies opened up into broken clouds and shafts of sunlight and beautiful color on the mountains. Once again, I thought, how could anyone think that all of this grandeur just happened by accident, that the design of terrain, weather and atmosphere are accidental formulations that work perfectly together in a harmony that is almost unbelievable? So our life journey continues, just like our trip here, up to the top of the mountain, then down into the valley, back up the mountain, then...

Thoughts From A Government Statistic

As we prepare to leave the St. Louis area, one of the main transition items is selling the house we have owned for almost 10 years. We purchased this home at a very good price because it was a work in progress. The previous owners had done some updates and remodeling, but there was a lot of work to be done. In the ten years we have owned the house we have added a full bath, added a fourth bedroom, installed new windows and back entry doors, put on a new insulated garage door, a high recovery fifty gallon water heater, painted every room, updated the master bath and many other improvements. With the passage of about five years and all the improvements, our house appraised for $45,000 more than we paid for the house in 2007. While we were pleased, it is still a work in progress.

Then came 2008.   Kathy and I watched the news stories, read the articles, and heard the horror stories of people trying to sell homes as the real estate market started its free-fall. While the falling prices affected us, just as they did everyone else, they really didn't affect us because we weren't trying to sell our house. It is interesting how we all react to bad events or bad news. The more distant the event, or news, the less it affects us. We may feel badly for the people affected, but in reality, because these events or news do not impact us personally, they quickly lose their punch. Even though some events take years to recover from, like the Gulf hurricanes, the Joplin, MO tornado, etc., because the majority of us are not affected, the news becomes old news fairly quickly.

In the summer of 2011, our world was shaken with the loss of my job I had done for nine years. At the worst possible time to look for a new job, and to sell a house, we were doing both. Suddenly all the housing articles and television stories took on a whole new meaning. Now we were part of the statistical base. Suddenly reality hit us in the face. The house that had appreciated in the first five years we owned it, now was probably only worth what we had paid for it in 2002. But since we had added approximately $30,000 in improvements, we now had a house that was worth significantly less than what we had expected it to be worth. From July, 2011 until just before Christmas, 2011, we tried to sell our house. While we had a few people look at it, we did not have anyone interested enough to submit an offer. For awhile in 2012, it appeared we might be able to stay in St. Louis. In June, however, I received the job offer that we accepted, in Tucson, Arizona. Now we are trying to sell our house again. This time, all the stories impact us. We are government statistics. We are looking at alternative selling options, like a short sale, or the possibility of leasing the house until the market improves. Some experts believe that may be ten years. What should we do? There aren't any good answers.

The bottom line for us, in the face of very dismal news, is that we are still blessed. We have been able to make every mortgage payment on time. While many good people have had to walk away from their homes, and lose everything they have invested in them, God has helped us keep our loan commitment, reputation, and faith in His ability to help us, intact. So, in spite of being a true government statistic, the more important thing is that we are God's children. "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11:11-13 Waiting on God's will and direction can be difficult, because we want everything to happen on our schedule. As I have learned with a new job, His schedule works pretty well. Well, I need to stop writing, we have to clean the house for another showing...

God Knows, He Cares, and He Provides

Luke 12:24-26  Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?


The picture on the right is our Blessing Box. At the beginning of our unem- ployment last year, Kathy had the idea, when the first unexpected blessing came, to keep a record of all the things that God might do for us. In one sense it was a record, and in another sense, because we started it with the very first blessing, either we were very presumptive that God would help us, or we simply believed His Word, and counted on His promises being true. The latter was true for us. When we were first married, we had a few months of very tight financial times. God provided for us throughout that period, so we knew God's promises were true. It had been quite awhile, however, since that time. In the mid 80s, we had an experience of God's provision that still amazes us when we talk about it. We wanted to buy a house in South Carolina, near the PTL Television Network, because Kathy and I were both working long and erratic hours. We had lost all our equity in our previous house because of a housing recession in the Northwest, so we borrowed money from both of our parents for a down payment. We agreed to pay them back over a 3 or 4 year period. (foggy memory) The incredible thing is that we paid this money back in 1 year. To this day, we have never really figured out how that came about. All we know is that God helped us, blessed us and showed Himself real to us. Now, fast forward to last October.


October 2011 began a period of no income. I had been given 4.5 months of severance pay and health insurance. 4.5 months for 9 years of service seems fair, and is based on a formula that many businesses use. The only difference is that for most employees, after severance pay, unemployment pay begins. The US government has extended some benefits to 99 months. Churches are exempt from paying into the unemploy- ment insurance program, and therefore, church employees are not eligible. And, in addition to having our pay end, I was now responsible for paying our health insurance premium, another $1,500 monthly addition to a family budget with no income. That is when the miracles started to happen. Wonderful friends committed to helping us with our mortgage payment, other friends helped us at key times, when bills needed to be paid. We learned how to live much more frugally, and conserve the funds we did have. Going to the mailbox became an adventure as we were sent gift cards for grocery stores, restaurants, gas stations, fast food places and even an Oberweiss gift card! We received a wonderful ham for Christmas, groceries dropped off at our doorstep, shopping trips to Sam's and many other blessings. Our little glass box began to fill up as we experienced incredible blessings from God, via our friends and sometimes, people we did not know. Just like our experience in the 80s, I can't tell you exactly how it happened, but after 13 months of unemployment and under-employment, all our bills are paid and they have been paid on time. We have accumulated a little credit card debt, but once we have a regular paycheck, we can take care of that. We have been humbled, and awed by what God has done. Luke 12:24-26 has indeed been real for us.


We have one more hurdle to jump. This month we transferred the last of our savings into our checking account. In the beginning, we had a 4 month *Dave Ramsey emergency fund in savings. Amazingly, it lasted 10 months! As we move to Tucson, Arizona to begin a new pastoral position, we will have a rent payment and a mortgage payment, deposits, some moving costs and one more health insurance payment. For the first time in 10 months, the well is dry. Concerned, yes, worried, no. God has met us too many times in these past months for us to worry or panic. If we start to worry, all we have to do is pull out some of the pieces of paper in our Blessing Box. God is good... (*Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University program)

A West Coast Celebration of Life

If you regularly read my blog postings, you know that my father passed away on March 17, 2012. We had a wonderful celebration of his life in March in Wake Forest, North Carolina.

Today we had another celebration of his life in San Jose, California. My parents, their extended families and other friends all moved to the Bay Area of California during WWII. The men went off to war and the ladies worked in the shipyards and other war related jobs. After the war ended, my parents married and started a family. About that time, my grandfather began pastoring a Spanish speaking Assemblies of God church in San Jose. From my birth until sometime in my 15th year, my family and I attended the church. In my 15th year, my grandfather died of stomach cancer. My parents were leaders in the church, taught Sunday School classes and conducted seminars for many Spanish churches in how to have a healthy and productive Sunday School. When I was about 12 years old, I began playing the piano for church services in my grandfather's church. So, with all those connections, it seemed right to celebrate his life, again, in San Jose.

So today, we held a San Jose celebration service for my father at Bethel Church, our adopted home church. Many of our west coast relatives attended and many people from the Spanish speaking church, Templo La Hermosa (Beautiful Temple), attended. It was a wonderful time of seeing relatives I had not seen in many years, and renewing relationships with people who had attended my grandfather's church many years ago. My dad's children and some of his grandchildren shared many memories, experiences and stories of my father's influence in their lives. During the lunch that followed the service, we all agreed that it had been much too long since we had seen each other, and that we all must do a better job of staying in contact. After the service, my son Josh and I, drove to the Willow Glen part of San Jose so he could see my childhood home, and then we drove to Templo La Hermosa to see where his spiritual heritage was formed.

Our extended family and friends that attended today represent a wide variety of people, of education, of employment, and success. When it was all boiled down to the reality of our being together, none of that mattered. What did matter is that there was a lot of love in the room, even though it hadn't been expressed in a long time. Nobody loves you like your family. We decided today that even though a lot of miles separate us, we all must do a better job of staying in contact. My dad would have been proud today. Not just because of all the great things that were said about him, but because it brought together a wonderful set of people that shared the greatest human emotion - love.

Another Birthday For An Incredible Woman

Today is Kathy's birthday. I won't tell you how old she is, but she was a child bride and next month we will celebrate 36 wonderful years of marriage. You do the math...

She has been a life partner, a team mate with me in church ministry, a great mom, foster mom, adoptive mom, grandmother, Godly example to our children and grandchildren and many people whom she has influenced for good. She has taught many of you in Sunday School classes, small group meetings and workshops and seminars. She helped coordinate many of your children's weddings, directed your church women's groups, directed kid's choirs, youth choir's, ensembles, adult choirs, played the harp for every kind of occasion, sang in ensembles she coordinated and sung on many worship teams. She has sat with you in the hospital, praying and encouraging you as you worried about your loved you there. She has had many meals, meetings and telephone conversations with women who needed a compassionate and godly ear, a loving shoulder to cry on, and someone they could count on to be a prayer partner. She has entertained many of you in our home with her wonderful hospitality gift.

On our first date, she told me she wanted to be a pastor's wife. I told her that was the dumbest thing I ever heard. 36 years later, this pastor's wife and I are about to embark on a new ministry adventure. As we have walked together through the most difficult year of our marriage, she has never complained once about being a pastor's wife, or being career ministers. Even when her prayers for the details of a new job didn't come to pass (she asked the Lord to be near relatives, live in a place that was familiar, and wasn't too hot in the summer), she is looking forward to moving to Tucson, Arizona, a place we've never even visited, isn't near any of our relatives and has triple digit temperatures for much of the summer. She is a trooper, called of God, to be exactly what she has become.

The writer of Proverbs 31 had Kathy in mind when he wrote: She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." (Emphasis mine)


Kathy's oldest grandson is in the picture with her, Jackson, our first teenage grandchild. She has on her Tim Tebow Denver Broncos jersey. She is one of the top 10 Bronco fans of all time. (When we found out we were moving to Tucson, one of the first things she did was check the Broncos schedule for this upcoming season and found out they play the Arizona Cardinals in a pre-season game in Phoenix in August. Guess where she'll be.)


Happy birthday, baby doll...you deserve it. 

Another Employment Update

It's been six months since I last wrote an employment update blog. If you are a new reader, I lost my church staff pastor job in June of 2011. Since that time, I have diligently worked at finding another full time position, a position that would allow me to use a lot of years of experience and education. I am happy to report that after 101 resumes, and 4 job offers, on Sunday, July 29, 2012, I will begin a new job as the Executive Pastor at Eastside Assembly in Tucson, Arizona. This is a position that will take advantage of my experience, education and church business certification.

This spring I wrote an article that was published in the Summer 2012 edition of  NACBA Ledger, a professional journal for members of the National Association of Church Business Administration. The title was Learning Lessons from Being Unemployed. I covered four areas, 1. You must leave the past and look forward to the future, 2. You find out who your true firends are, 3. This is a very difficult employment market, 4. God's Word is true, and His promises are meant to be stood upon. (If you would like to read my article, send me your email address to me and I'll send you a pdf copy. louiesalazar@sbcglobal.net)

I learned some tremendous lessons in this past year, and the greatest of them was that God speaks to us through His word in dynamic and timely ways. I cannot tell you how many days, in either my regular course of Bible reading, or spontaneous reading, a portion of God's Word spoke very clearly to me. God's Word helped me deal with the disappointment of submitting over one hundred resumes, and not hearing back a single word from over 50 % of the churches and organizations I had contacted. God's Word helped me deal with the disappointment of not hearing from people I had worked closely with, people I considered friends and fellow leaders. God's Word helped me deal with the fear of not being able to stretch our savings to bridge the gap, a gap we did not know how long would last. As opportunities became available this spring, God's Word helped Kathy and I make the right decision on which opportunity to choose. I can tell you this, it is very scary to turn down three opportunities without knowing if there would be another one. Here's how that played out...

The first job offer was from a large compassion ministry in St. Louis. While I know I could have helped this ministry with my experience and skills, not all the pieces were falling into place, and we decided this would not work for us, or them. The second opportunity was at a large Assemblies of God camp, retreat and conference center. Again, while I felt my skills would have been a good fit, I could not get a peace from God that this was the right position. I initially accepted an offer from a wonderful church in the St. Louis area to be their Music Director. As a lead up to my first week of employement there, I attended eight services. On the evening of the eighth service I attended, I could not sleep. While the job provided wonderful security, and was in the St. Louis area, I knew that this was not the position for me. This church's heritage and practice was very different from mine. While I know I could have probably adapted to a new tradition, I knew I could not engage on a personal spiritual level. I tossed and turned and did not sleep until I settled on the fact that I could not serve in this position. This is not a criticism of this church, it is a wonderful church, it simply was not a good fit, either for them or me. The position that Kathy and I have accepted is to be the Executive Pastor at Eastside Assembly of God in Tucson, AZ. I will be involved in a lot of church administration, developing ministry areas and helping to oversee an 11 million dollar relocation of the church. God saved this position for me, knowing that it was one that would use all of the experience I have had over the past twenty years. It would also take advantage of my church business administration education and certification.

This new position comes with some downsides. The biggest one is that we will leave children behind in St. Louis. I have been a basket case everytime I think about it, but God will help us. We also need to sell a home in a very difficult real estate market. As you have already read, God has a way of taking care of His business, so we're confident He will take care of this as well. The third downside is that we will be leaving behind some wonderful friends. People who have loved us, stood by us, helped us and have been there when we have needed them. In the final analysis, God did not promise us perfect lives, He did promise, however, to be there for us. His Word is true. I know, because I have lived it for the past year.

Happy Father's Day, Dad

This past March, my father went from this life to his eternal reward in Heaven. Our family and friends celebrated his life, cried together, laughed at special memories and all agreed we were all grateful for his influence in our lives. Two years ago I wrote the following blog. Now that he isn't with us, these words take on even more meaning for me. Enjoy...


Today is Father's Day. Special lunch, cards, gifts, then on to the 4th of July. Sometimes it seems like special days are just interruptions in our daily routine of living life. However, on a day like today, it is good to pause and thank God for our father's and all that they have contributed to our lives.

Most of what my father has taught me has been by example. I learned by observing him living life like it is supposed to be lived, with a little verbal instruction thrown in every once in a while. And, occasionally a little physical instruction that made an impact on my backside as well as in my thinking. I've written before about life lessons that I live out today and have tried to teach my own children. For instance, when my dad taught me how to care for our yard, the last thing you did was sweep the street. That made the yard look finished, and the job complete. Today, I can't mow our lawn and trim without that last step. The greater life lesson was "complete the job, finish the task."

To this day, my 90 year old father looks sharp, hair neat and combed, moustache trimmed. My children always got a kick out of picking my parents up at the airport when they came for a visit because my father always had a shirt and tie and/or a jacket on. They'd ask, "why is grandpa all dressed up?" The life lesson is always look your best, you'll feel better about yourself and people around you will treat you with respect. It just takes a few extra minutes to be the best you can be.

I remember as a child going to an older lady's house nearly every Saturday morning with my dad. He would chop kindling for her wood burning stove. He would make sure she had enough kindling and wood for a week. I never saw him get any pay for that. She wasn't a relative, and to my knowledge, when she passed away, he never received a thank you from any of her relatives. He simply saw a need and filled it. That has been a huge life lesson.

My dad served in WWII, proudly serving his country, and then came home and lived a productive life, raising a family and serving God. I am so thankful for his legacy and teaching. Now for 34 years its been my turn to be a father. Thanks dad for all the instruction, example, and love. Happy Father's Day! I love you.

Here Are Some Random Thoughts

If you regularly read my blog, you may have noticed that I have not written many blogs in 2012. While I have had a lot happen that I could have written about, the past eleven months have been the most unpredictable of my life. Because of that unpredictability, I have been on an emotional and experiential roller coaster that, at times, has dampened my creativity. Here are a few random thoughts that might help you understand where I am at, at this point in my life.

Most men find their self worth in what they do for a living. I am not any different. It has been a daily chore to "rise to the occasion." Most days I succeed, however, some days I don't. For the past several months I have had the opportunity to work with pastors and church volunteers in several Illinois churches. This has been a highlight of my life.

I have been unemployed for eleven months. I have been incredibly disappointed with the reality that my age is the main determining factor for my unemployment. Consider that; 1) in my field, I am at the top of my experience and ability to do the job, 2) I am at the peak of my maturity, 3) I have been a life-long learner and I continue to learn and develop in the areas that I am the best at. While I have had a fair number of interviews, my age has had a subtle way if creeping into the final hiring decision. Our struggling national economy has also created a scenario where churches and non-profit ministries are paying a lot less than they would have five years ago. In at least three cases, I could not support my family and finish raising our children on the salary and benefits that were being offered.

My father passed away on March 17th. For the first couple of weeks, and through his memorial service I did okay. Six weeks later, I'm a basket case. I hope that my grieving this long is okay. My mom spent a week with us a couple of weeks ago. We had a great time, but it took a couple of days for it to finally sink in that my dad wasn't coming to the breakfast table in the morning.

I've come to the realization that we are probably going to have to relocate out of the St. Louis area. I presently have a strong job possibility several states away. We'll know by the end of the first week in June if this is the job. The thought of leaving children behind in St. Louis is almost more than I can bear. On one hand I have been praying that God would put us in the perfect place, on the other, I am a dad that has always wanted to "be there" for my children.

I am convinced, more than ever, that God really does have our best in mind. He really does know everything about us. Since October, we have not had a regular source of income. Since churches are exempt from paying into the state unemployment insurance system, even that "safety net" has been unavailable for us. We have also been paying the entire cost of our health insurance. Through many sources, God has helped us in miraculous ways. While we have dug ourselves into a bit of a hole, we are so much better off than many people in our situation. When this phase of our life is over, I am going to write about some of God's miraculous provision for us. God's love and care for me, and my family amazes me. You will be amazed...

E.T. Is Getting Married

20 winters ago a little foster baby came into our lives. She was born with a number of birth difficulties, including a severe brain bleed. She also came with difficult legal issues and it took 18 months to sort them all out. She had a big forehead and big eyes and Kathy and I nicknamed her E.T. Her birth mom was 14 and a birth father was not identified. Each evening I took on the responsibility of putting Nicole to sleep. Many evenings during that first winter I would light the gas logs in our family room and hold her, pray over her, talk to her, and generally have a wonderful time with this "little lady". She would snuggle into my arms and get comfortable. I don't know who enjoyed this time more, her or me. More than once I agonized over the fact that she didn't have a birth daddy that knew about her, or cared. One night, as I was praying over her, I felt the distinct impression in my mind that when I prayed words like "be a daddy to Nicole because she doesn't have one", the Holy Spirit whispered to me, "you are her daddy, just like I am your daddy". That was significant to me for a couple of reasons. One, it helped me understand that for the moment, I was indeed being a dad to Nicole and she was safe and secure in our home, and second, I needed the reinforcement that God was allowing me to see Him in a more intimate and personal way. I have always struggled with my image of God. Most times He was a distant God, able to do all that His word told me, and interested in me, but from a distance. I always felt like I was part of huge crowd in His presence. That evening, in the warmth of a fire warmed winter night, God became Daddy to me. I felt like He was there with just Nicole and I, letting us know just how much he loved us and cared for us. That memory will be one that will always be a highlight.

For some reason, babies grow up. We have really enjoyed watching Nicole grow. She has become a delightful young lady. Several weeks ago, her boyfriend and I had a private chat that confirmed what Kathy and I had been feeling for some time. On Easter Sunday, Nicole showed us a beautiful engagement ring and she and Nick announced that she had accepted his proposal for marriage. Since then, this daddy's emotions have run the gamut from being very happy, to the sadness of picturing our home without Nicole. I have already shed plenty of tears, both happy and sad, with more to come, I'm sure, as the fall date gets closer. We have been blessed to raise E.T. I have been proud to be her daddy.

Resurrection - Breaking Bonds

The Easter season impacts us differently, depending on where we are in life, and what our present circumstances might be. For instance, last night, the last scripture that was read as we left the Good Friday service at St. John Lutheran was, And regarding the question, friends, that has come up about what happens to those already dead and buried, we don't want you in the dark any longer. First off, you must not carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word. Since Jesus died and broke loose from the grave, God will most certainly bring back to life those who died in Jesus. (from THE MESSAGE) I know this passage well, and normally would have enjoyed hearing it, but it wouldn't have affected me anymore than any other Bible passage. However, since my father went to Heaven on March 17th, twenty days later, this verse really had an emotional effect on me. The takeaway moment for me, was my renewed faith that I will see him again in Heaven. Tears of sadness mingled with tears of joy.

For many people, Easter Sunday will be their obligatory church attendance day. Perhaps they are feeling pressure from a parent, or spouse, or a child. Others will be in church, like they normally are, but preoccupied with with life events surrounding their jobs, or families or other things that prevent them from fully appreciating the tremendous hope we have in Christ's resurrection. Others will be there who are struggling with the power and bondage of something that they cannot deal with. Even though these people have heard the sermons and read the scriptures about God's complete forgiveness and unmerited favor, they cannot break free of the bondage they feel. I love a verse of the wonderful Charles Wesley hymn, O For A Thousand Tongues, that says,
           He breaks the power of canceled sin,
           He sets the prisoner free;
           His blood can make the foulest clean,
           His blood availed for me.

I pray that tomorrow, during the illustrated sermons, special music, drama, and other Easter special features, that the Resurrected Christ, who Himself was bound in grave clothes and set free by the power of the Resurrection, will have the opportunity to birth freedom and new life into many people who have come to their church services under crippling bondage. I pray that people who have confessed their sin hundreds of times, only to return to it again and again, will pray their final confession and leave the sanctuary a free person, with their bonds left behind to remind Satan that he is the loser. 

The early church would greet each other with the words He Is Risen, and the other person would respond, He Is Risen, Indeed. My Christ, indeed, be risen in the lives of many people tomorrow.

92 + 1 = Pricless

Yesterday, we had a grand celebration of my father's life. With pictures, songs, prayers and shared memories, we thanked God for his life and influence on us all. Today, we'll celebrate the 1st birthday of his newest great-granddaughter, Norah Grace Peter. And so, the cycle of life goes on. Sixty five years ago, Two people who fell in love, got married, and begin a cycle of life that resulted in a room full of people sharing the goodness of God, embodied in one of his creations. Today, that cycle continues, because in a few years, this beautiful 1 year old will fall in love, and the cycle will begin all over again.

My dad loved talking about heaven. While he was very "down to earth," he was also very "heavenly minded." As some of us were talking yesterday, we talked about the reunions that have already taken place. Undoubtedly, my dad has spent time with his mother, and step-father (who raised him), and his birth dad who passed away when my dad was two years old. He has probably been introduced to their parents and grandparents, uncles and aunts, and many other people who are there. Sometime during the past few days, I think my dad felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked down into five little faces that he had never seen before. Two of these are grandchildren that were miscarried by my sister, Lori, and my wife, Kathy. A few years ago Kathy was directing our choir, singing a song about heaven. During a solo section, she closed her eyes and saw a quick vision of her grandmother walking toward her, hand-in-hand with a three or four year old red headed little girl. Kathy knew she was seeing the daughter we never had the chance to meet. The other three children tugging at Papa's sleeve are great-grandchildren, twins that our daughter Aimee lost a couple of years ago, and a baby that our son Jason and his wife, Jennie, miscarried. What fun they must have had at that first reunion.

The Bible tells us that we will know each other in Heaven.What wonderful reunions we will have. I know that Jesus will take great delight in watching us spend time together, and then all of us spending time in His presence, as we worship and thank Him for "preparing us a place." Later today, we'll celebrate a 1st birthday, we'll laugh and enjoy Norah destroy her cake, and we'll thank God again for my father. Sometime during the day I will probably shed some more tears, but it will be okay, because I'll also think about that little red head who's probably walking hand-in-hand with her Papa. 

Waiting...

We have all waited. Waited in lines, in traffic, on the phone, for people, waiting. I still remember the last few days of waiting before our first child was born. As first time parents, we had prepared ourselves with Lamaze classes, and faithfully reading all the literature our doctor had suggested, but waiting was the hard part. Jason was born on his due date, so we didn't have to wait too long.

Today, is another waiting day. My 92 year old father has struggled with congestive heart failure for quite awhile. Like many people with congestive heart failure, he has had low moments when we thought the end was near, and then he would rally and have some great weeks and months. In the past week or so, he has begun a downward spiral that his hospice nurses tell us he probably will not recover from. For the past several days, since I've know about his current condition, I have spent hours praying and thinking about my parents, my siblings and our families. So many wonderful memories have come flooding into my mind as I've thought about our growing up days in San Jose, the summers our older children spent with their grandparents in the San Joaquin valley, and these past years in Ohio and North Carolina. I've thought about the character that was formed in me as I observed my dad. The core values that I hold dear because of his influence, the little things he demonstrated to me that are inseparable from my character. Lots of wonderful thoughts. Waiting thoughts.

But now we're waiting. Should we travel to North Carolina now, should we wait? What about his waiting? What is going through his mind? I'm sure he's had multiple conversations about this with his Savior. My dad has always been a student of the End Times, and because of it you could tell he had a tremendous sense of anticipation of being in Heaven. And now he's waiting. We're waiting.

Before long, my father will start another kind of waiting. He'll be in Heaven, spending time with his mother and father, and other relatives that have gone before him. And he'll be waiting for us. Waiting with a big smile on his face, completely healed, thoroughly enjoying his surroundings, and waiting...